Happy Tuesday Angels! I’m loving Hawaii.
I’m thinking maybe if I ever move away from California again, I’m feelin’ the Aloha Spirit. It’s magical here and the people are so nice. There’s such a chill, calming space here, the mood, the vibes… it is totally helping me recharge and relax and enjoy being vape free (Nicorette mints are gross but I’m coping) so FIVE STARSSS!!!
Jason YummiMosa and I did go out for lunch, yesterday, Angels. We went to a little cantina by the ocean and I had some amazing tequila. So he was telling me how in Mexico that the drink of choice isn’t margaritas but Palomas, and I love grapefruit so it was good.
Anyways, I also got a temporary ID sorted so I’m no longer having to show people pictures of my drivers license so I should be able to go back to California.
Here’s another thing that’s happening that I totally didn’t account for.
I brought like twenty pairs of shoes or something. Like most of my two suitcases are shoes. There’s some clothes in there but I was like okay I’m not going to be wearing much. And it’s true – I haven’t been wearing much.
But I’m running out of clean clothes. So that’s probably an excuse to go shopping if I ever heard one lol.
Anyways, more on Jason Mimosamosamosa. I could totally tell he was into me. And not because of like the airport thing where I’m like oh guys are so into me because they looked at me after I bumped into them. But he was all like attentive and shit you know?
But I’m holding back. I was friendly and all to Jason but I’m trying to keep things together. I’ve done a lot of growing up over the last twelve months and I’m thinking if I need some time for myself do I really want to bounce up and down on another dudes dick? That’s not really time for myself.
But I mean it does feel pretty good so maybe I should just do what I want.
But the other part of me is like what I want is to relax and be comfortable in my own body. Why do I need a man to validate me? Why can’t I just be Alexis Angel, love myself, and have fun with myself? I mean it’s a bit difficult to say “table for one please” but when you do it there’s a strong sense of independence that goes through you.
I’m young still. I’m beautiful. I’m vivacious. I should really get to know the one person who I’ve neglected during the whole time period with WineBar and It Guy. And that person is me.
At the end of the day latching on to one guy after another and then finding that it’s not working out is one way to go about life. But I think after Hawaii that finding yourself and learning to love you for you is one of the things you can do to be a strong woman.
What do you think angels?
Alexis, you got it girl. Now you’re thinking straight. One thing I have learned in my 64 years is that no one loves you like you. You have to love yourself and you are responsible for your own happiness. You don’t need a man or anyone else to validate your existence. I’ve learned that lesson many years ago and realize that I don’t need a man to make me happy. Sometimes they let you down and break your heart. My husband wanted a divorce after 31 years of marriage (he found someone else). I was devastated at first but after a couple of years I realized he did me a huge favor. I love my life and couldn’t be happier.
I think that you are right .you do not need a man to define yourself . You have to learn to be alone with yourself before you can truly be with someone else. I enjoy my alone time just to read or watch tv or whatever. Only you can decide what is best for you. Good luck.
You hit it just right. I am trying to do that myself. I am separated from my husband of 20 years and people identified me as Mrs. Husband name and not me. So I am focusing on loving me not anyone else at this time. So I do understand.
Very wise, soothing, and fun.
I love time by myself.
Alexis,
Now I think you are on the right track. It isn’t always easy taking a step back and being on your own for a while, but you will be surprised how strong you are when you are making all of your own decisions on what is best for your life, and not everyone else’s. Enjoy the rest of your time in Hawaii.
Yes, Alexis you need time for yourself. We all need time for your self one way or another, I had Monday and Tuesday off from my employer so I took the time off for myself.
I think you came to a very good conclusion. Kudos to you!!
Congratulations girl you are truly growing up! You have to love your self before you can truly love someone else! That’s not saying you can’t dip once in awhile! Love yourself and enjoy your youth cause it goes by fast!