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Finally…I Published Something!!

After finishing up They All Love Me and getting ready for Brothers Who Brandy I’ve been also working with Paige on a romantic comedy. Knowing me though, I had to make it an MMF. And boy, was it fun. I wanted to drop the first chapter here for you all to read. Hope you like it!

 

The hotel room is surely opulent and luxurious, but I don’t really take notice in my surroundings. My client didn’t allow it. He instantly takes off his pants and underwear, showing his erection. He makes a ‘come hither’ motion, and of course, I comply.

I put his cock in my mouth, running  my tongue on the underside.

“Shit, yes,” the man above me groans, holding my hair in a limp grip. I hum, the vibrations making him moan more.

But wait! Record scratch, freeze frame. You probably wonder how I got here, on a hotel room, sucking some old man’s dick. So yeah, I should greet you. Drum roll, please!

Welcome to the life of Foxy, the world’s most bored hooker.

No, don’t give me that look. Sex workers deserve respect, too. Don’t give me that bullshit.

It’s not like I actually love doing to this. But hell, we can’t all come from affluent families, okay? Some of us need to do the nitty and gritty to earn money, feed themselves, and put themselves through school.

Like me.

You can say that my family is not the richest family out there. We can barely buy food, let alone pay for rent, utilities, and my university tuition fee.

My parents aren’t doing much to change our situation. They are hilariously chaotic at best, and devastatingly toxic at worst. When they’re not all shacked up and lovey-dovey, they’re out there almost ruining each other’s lives.

The only thing they got going for them is that I know that, in their own way, they love and care for me. But that’s not enough. I have dreams I want to achieve, and I know that I won’t get any help from them.

So as soon as I graduated high school, I packed my bags, said my goodbyes, and headed for the city. That summer, aside from admission exams, I worked hard for my tuition and other necessities. Waited tables, worked as a temp, maid–you name it, I did it.

But most of the time, the income from all those jobs was just not enough. Then someone approached me, and offered me this job. It’s not the most “clean” job, but who gives a shit about clean jobs if you’re struggling to support yourself?

The first night being a hooker earned me triple of what I earned in my previous jobs combined, so I said to myself that I’m seeing this through.

Foxy was born one night in a seedy motel, taking it hard from an old lonely man who paid me more cash than I’ve held in my hands my whole life.

Well, the name’s Caroline Fox, really. But these men know me as Foxy, the girl who gets them off real good, as long as they give me good cash–and fuck me good.

Speaking of fucking me good. This is not the definition of fucking me good. I haven’t even unleashed the full potential of my tongue. Just one deep swallow, and he grips my hair too tightly and comes down my throat.

He comes too soon, not even ten minutes into our session. He didn’t even warn me, that fucker.

I pull away from his cock and having no other choice, swallow the bitter cum. I stand up, wipe my hands on my jeans, and fix my hair a bit. My client tucks his flaccid dick into pants and leans back into bed, sated.

“Wanna go for round two soon, honey?” I ask, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I just hope that he would say no–I need to get ready for class soon.

“No, Foxy, no need for that. I just wanna ask something, before the session ends,” he asks, looking part-serious and part-embarrassed.

I just nod and motion for him to ask away. What is it that my client wants to ask? I bet you today’s pay that he’s gonna be asking for advice.

He has that look on him, the lonely facade. He’s giving off the my-marriage-is-dying vibe. I just wait for him to finally voice out his marriage woes. It’s good practice anyway.

My client finally opens his mouth, to ask me for advice about his wife, who according to him, has been going out more and more these days. I answer with the usual: treat her with dates, flowers and the like, compliment her, and be consistent.

Seriously, if these old geezers just treat their wives well even though they’re not in the prime of youth anymore, they wouldn’t have problems. On the other hand, I won’t have income if not for lonely old geezers, so whatever.

This type of thing–my clients asking for advice, be it sex tips, marriage advice, or just life shit–has been a normal. I don’t know what’s going on in these men’s heads, asking advice from a hooker, but hey, I’m not complaining.

My client mulls over my words, nods, and gets off the bed. He gives me the agreed amount, with some extra, because of the advice I gave him earlier, I guess. With that, I say goodbye to him, get out of the hotel, and go back to my dorm before my classes.

I am a Psychology major, already in my junior year. One year in school, still more years in med school to go. But like I said, it’s been my dream since I was in high school, so fuck if I’m not gonna fight and persevere for this degree.

I arrive at my dorm, fucking finally. I still need to change my clothes and get my things from my room. Fuck, class starts in 15 minutes! I hurry back to my room, wash my face and brush my teeth (duh, I don’t wanna smell like jizz all day), put on fresh clothes, and grab my books.

I make it to class with a few minutes to spare. I go to the back row, where my friend Faith sits. I sit beside her and greet with a smile. “Heya, Faith.”

“Hi, Caroline,” she greets back. We hear the professor come in, but we don’t give him much thought.

Faith is not just some other classmate. She’s like me, a hooker–goes in the name Baby Ruth. We’ve met through our handler, and found out that she’s studying in the same university and the same major. So we became friends.

“So how’s the client?” Faith whispers to me. Aside from being classmates, we’re also roommates, so we know each other’s schedules.

“Mediocre as fuck. Didn’t even last the whole session. Asked for my advice as well,” I say, snickering under my breath. Faith almost laughs out loud, but smothers it in time. “How about you?”

The professor is droning on and on in the background. We’re currently in the Abnormal Psychology class. The subject could be fun, if not for the professor from hell. He hates all of our guts, but I swear to God he hates me the most, maybe because I look like a dumb bimbo in his class, but bitch, that is never the case.

Case in point: he gives both Faith and I a stink eye for chatting, before going back to the board again.

Faith answers when the professor’s attention is away from us.

“He’s okay. Hung enough. The bad breath, though!” she says. I can’t help myself, I snicker loudly. Faith softly giggles.

Prof then calls me out, looking sour. “Ms. Fox, would you and Ms. Michaels like to share something to the class?”

“No, sir, we don’t,” I answer nonchalantly.

“Well then, Ms. Fox, please tell us what delirium is, if you’ve even opened the textbook to study,” the professor spits. He thinks that he’d get me with the sudden question? Joke’s on him, though.

“Sure, sir, no problem. Delirium, a serious disturbance in a person’s mental abilities, often results in confused thinking and reduced awareness of their environment,” I say without breaking a sweat.

“Well, then. You do open your book sometimes. So, what are the contributing factors of delirium?” he fires away, obviously still hoping to intimidate me. Ha, as if that would happen.

“There can be several factors that contribute to delirium: surgery, severe or chronic medical illness, changes in metabolic balance, alcohol or drug withdrawal, medication, or infection,” I say confidently. I look at the professor straight in the eyes.

Leave me the fuck alone, you old hag, I say in my head.

Once he hears my answer, he turns away, looking pissed and teaching rest of the class. Some of my classmates look at me but I stare straight ahead. I hear Faith giggle.

I look at her, and she gives me a thumbs up. I give a smug grin and finger guns back. I don’t even care if the professor sees. I’m done giving a shit.

My phone suddenly vibrates, signaling a message. I take it out of my pocket and hide it under the armrest–I don’t wanna give old prof any more headache today. I see a text from my handler.

New client. Go to the usual hotel at 1715. Code D.

Dollah dollah bills, y’all.

 

 

You can get the book here:

 

Posted on 49 Comments

Hey Angels! Sorry I’ve Been AWOL

Dear Angels,

Thank you so much for all the love and support. From all the emails and the comments I want you to know that I truly am loved. And yes, our little Angel family has gone through a lot and we stick together.

It’s just been rough for me the last few months.

As a few of you have guessed…Mr. Lana Angel and I are separated. It happened right about the time that Alexis and I decided to go our separate ways. That was basically the underlying reason. He wanted to move away from the city and then he felt that I was becoming too dependent on Alexis and writing all the time with her. That I needed to be my own person.

What I didn’t realize is that Alexis brings out the best in me. She makes me laugh and makes me cry and makes me think. So did Ex.

I tried it his way. I tried to please him. I really did.

But then my account got shut down at Amazon and my books started to get pulled and I wasn’t sure what to do.

I suggested to him that I reach out to Alexis. But he wouldn’t have it. See…I think Ex (who used to be Mr. Lana Angel) and Alexis never got along. Actually, truth be told, he was always a bit intimidated of Alexis I think. Not that he usually gets intimidated – but you know how Alexis is. She once told him he was an idiot and when he kept doing something wrong she threw her shoe at him. It wouldn’t have been a big deal except he was eating a cheeseburger and he almost choked to death when the heel hit him in the head.

So there wasn’t any love lost between them. And he wanted me separate from her. But not just her. All of our author friends we’d made along the way.

I know Alexis told you guys about Daphne and Nat coming on board, but we made so many other friends and he wanted me to just write on my own. And then cook dinner and be a wife.

But I know I can do so much more.

We fought until he agreed that I could go to Paris. And then it took one whole day talking with Alexis making plans and I realized where I was missing things.

Alexis is silly. She’s got the temperament of a 12 year old. She’s vain (it’s true). She’s flighty. But she’s my best friend. And she’ll walk over fire to make sure I’m okay. I was missing that.

Anyways, putting my career first and my life first made him give me an ultimatum. Choose him or my life that I had always wanted.

I haven’t decided yet. But we are separated. And that’s what I’m dealing with.

Anyways this has gone on for a long post but I wanna share something with you guys to just say thank you.

Now we had a whole bunch of downloads and buys for our newest series that came out but Alexis is off on a date with…is it Tech Guy? IT Man? I forget whatever she calls him but he got home early and she hadn’t put the Featured Deal. So I did. As a founding member of the store, I’m putting it at more than 50% off for everyone who works on a budget. For the next 3 days, go ahead and grab it. Once it becomes a Featured Deal it stays so it’s my way of saying thanks to all you Angels.

Love you all

Lana

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So the the professor called on Sunday

That’s right!
He called back!
He didn’t call on Saturday but he did call on Sunday.
Whoa. That’s like four days ago? Ok so there is obviously a four day lag between what happens and when I’m telling you about this.
Anyways, the reason it was odd when he called on Sunday is because uhmm…well I was in the middle of doing something.

What was I in the middle of?

I was sorta seducing someone.

So there’s this guy that lives down the hall. He works in IT and I was talking to him once that I have my own store but there are a lot of things that neither me nor Lana know how to do and he was like oh, let me know if you ever want any help.

Have I mentioned that this dude is super duper sexy? His eyes alone. I could get lost in his eyes forever.

Anyways so if WineBar and I are seeing other people and stuff then I’m going to indulge is what I thought.

So I texted him and I’m like help me on my website. Now the thing is, I’m pretty good at website stuff. If I don’t know it I can usually figure it out by using the google.

But for the purposes of sex I was like uhmm, how do I do this and that can you help me? So he came over Sunday because it was the weekend for him and he was like oh let me show you what to do and I like put on something sexy which in this case was like yoga pants, tank top and heels because I was thinking hmm I want to make sure he gets the message.

But the guy was so focused on teaching me that the seduction was just not going well.

I wasn’t gonna give up so easy though. And don’t worry, I’ll tell you when Professor calls. Anyways, so I was like okay how am I gonna seduce someone. Because the one thing I did not want to do was fail at seduction. What kind of romance author would I be then?

Have you guys ever tried to unsuccessfully seduce? Drop your comments below and I’ll gift a surprise book to a lucky winner (new type of giveaway!)

And I’ll tell you more about Sunday with WebDeveloper!

Oh and check out Featured Deals. Re-release of Profit & Lace after it was taken off sale by Amazon. Buy it and get The Biggest Licker for $0.99!!!

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Wow what a morning!

Hey Angels!
I need a drink.
Not just because of the date last night.
But I mean that too.
If you look back, you’ll see one of the blog posts is missing. The one where I called WineBar on Thursday and told him hey I’m going on a date on Friday and he was like ok cool and I was all pissed off.
Anyways, that post is gone.
Also gone is the post that I had about Lana’s new series. Because I was like talking about Professor and our date and I was saying shit and then I was like but I’m not gonna go and say everything because I don’t wanna ruin Lana’s thunder because she just released the Dirty Brother series and Book 1 is free thats part of our featured deals.

Anyways so I even had a video. (See the video below)

So I wake up at 5 am this morning because I forgot to take the makeup off my face and I check the site and check my emails because I have 40,000 emails and I am responding to them and it doesn’t let me in.
So I’m like whats going on.
And it turns out that so many people had started to come on that the entire server had crashed!
Lets get this figured out. So many people wanted Lana’s Episode 1 that the server was like oh no I can’t handle. Also, I may have gotten the lowest level of server space because I didn’t know if anyone would wanna read our books at all.
But it turns out they do!
So ppl downloaded and the poor server was like help me.
So I call my internet provider and they’re like hmm we have to do this on Monday we can’t do it now.
And I’m sitting there in yesterday’s clothes because I passed out and I’m like what? And they’re like yeah we have an error we don’t know whats up and I’m like:

“Okay, hold on. I was banned from Amazon! I WILL NOT BE BANNED FROM THE INTERNET! You will escalate this!”

And like two hours later, the site was back, the server was upgraded and the only issue was the blog posts were gone from yesterday which was the last time we backed up the site.

Anyways, I owe you a story about Professor. Lets just say…remember Freeway? It’s kinda similar. But not quite.

Anyways, Sunday is when I will tell! Right now I need to go relax!~

Check out Lana’s series! Episode 1 is FREE

And check out the trailer I had made for her!

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Yeah I’m gonna go on that date

So first off thanks Angels for all your words of advice yesterday.
I called WineBar last night to be like hey this dude asked me out on a date and I wanted to see if you were set on what we decided – that we don’t know and we’ll decide when you get back.

WineBar picks up the phone when I FaceTime him and he’s talking to me and we’re going back and forth and then guess what I see?
I see a shadow behind him!
Not just any shadow!
The shadow of a woman.

I swear. That fucking skank. Some dark black haired chick who seems to be putting on earrings. Totally unconcerned that she’s walked into the view of his camera. He has no idea that she’s behind him but she’s like looking at the phone and my face and looking out of curiousity. Like who is this bitch talking to my man. Oh the height of irony. She’s thinking who is my man talking to.

Uhmm…no. I didn’t even ask him about Professor. I just was friendly. We talked another minute and then I hung up. And poured myself a glass of scotch. Ew. But I needed a drink.

I am gonna get dolled up. Do my hair. Do my makeup. Buy La Perla. Get my nails done. Get a nice dress.

And I’m going out.

Beware world. Alexis Angel is back. And she’s out for blood.

In honor of that, I want ALLLL the men in the world. That’s why today, Sevensome is up for sale! This book got booted off Amazon. But for the next 24 hours, if you buy it, you get 7 other books for 25% off. That’s like getting 4 books for the price of 7 I think! You don’t wanna miss it.

And the world has missed me for long enough. I’m fucking back. Bitches won’t know how to act.

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Soooo….I need your advice!

Alright angels!

The other day I did the press conference about WineBar and then I was like oh no karma is gonna bite me in the ass for writing this and guess what?

It did. lol I swear karma fucking hates me.

Guess what happened to me. I was hanging out at the Bourbon & Branch in San Francisco and I actually brought my laptop with me so I could do stuff in the store. And then all of a sudden I hear “Are you a developer?” from a voice behind me.

And I look back and its this dude. He’s holding an old fashioned and he’s got a smirk. I’m like whoa. “No, I’m actually an author.”

“An author who does websites?” he asks me.

“I sell direct to my readers,” I said.

“Are you any good?” he asks.

“I’m a USA Today Bestselling author and I’ve hit the Amazon Top 100 like 200 times,” I said to him. He’s like whoa.

“That’s impressive,” he says to me and I’m like ooooh its been so long since someone has been impressed with me.

“What do you do?” I asked.

“I’m a professor,” he says to me. “I teach poli sci over at UC Berkeley.”

So I raised my eyebrows at him because he looks like 32 and I’m like you’re a professor and he’s like yeah I’m an adjunct. I did my PhD at Harvard. And I’m like wow ok. He also does some consulting for some political campaigns. Anyways, he ends with, “I have some friends over there that I got to get to but have a drink with me at the Top of the Mark this Friday.”

I’m like oh. my. god. Someone just asked me out.

“Here’s my number. Call me,” he says, “I can’t wait to have dinner with a USA Today Bestselling author”

And I’m like sitting there speechless as this totally handsome 30 something year old who looks like he stepped out of a magazine walk away. And I’m like okay tomorrow morning I need to talk to the angels and see what to do. I’m thinking I should call WineBar and ask if its okay to go on this “date” but I dunno. I want to because he was so smooth and suave and WineBar has made it clear that we’re not a thing until we figure it out but I dunno babes. What do I do?

I was so not sure what to do that I went back and read Naughty Lil’ Angel. I also put it up on the store. It’s got a re-release special of $1.99 for the next 24 hours. You can grab it here or on the Featured Deals Page!! And please let me know what to do!

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The 7th Press Conference with Alexis Angel

The events of this press conference take place after the portion recorded in the newsletter. Go back and read that first if you haven’t already!!!!

Alexis: Okay, so at this point I’ll take questions about WineBar.
Larosa: Alexis! Where is WineBar?
Alexis: Right now he’s in New York City.
Kristie: Why aren’t you there?
Alexis: Well, I saw him in NYC maybe like three weeks ago. Sorry I had like a store to put together. It’s actually harder than I thought even if it was built for me.
Michelle: Alexis! Alexis! What is the romantic status of you and WineBar?
Alexis: If I were to answer this on Facebook, I’d select the “It’s Complicated” option.
(General whispering and murmuring)
Melissa: Alexis are you seeing other people?
Alexis: The last time we spoke which was in September, WineBar and I decided that we would see other people because I was unable to move back to New York City and he wasn’t able to come back to San Francisco. However we still care about each other.
(Loud commotion)
Gina: Alexis! Alexis!
Alexis: Yes, Gina. Go ahead
Gina: So you guys are seeing other people? You’ve moved on?
Alexis: No. WineBar is coming back to San Francisco for the holidays on December 20. We are going to decide our status then. But in the meantime he and I have decided that if love finds us elsewhere we won’t shut the door on it.
(Chaos breaks out)
Alexis: Please guys. One more question.
Leticia: Alexis! Pick me!
Alexis: Yes, Leticia.
Leticia: So what are the odds? What are the chances?
Alexis: You know, for a while I was really busy just trying to get back above water since Amazon shut my account down. I’d say that the chances of us getting back together, with everything he’s going through and everything I am are at a solid 50%.

(People getting up and shouting questions as security takes Alexis off the podium)

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Where In The World Is Lana Angel?

So when we put Hit & Run up for sale last night I got a whole bunch of emails from people saying shit like omg is Lana coming back too? And like I mentioned earlier in my newsletter yeah for a while there Lana was like okay Alexis I’m going to branch out and do some more dark stuff and I totally got that, you know?

But what do they say about bad habits? They always come back. But haha Lana isn’t the bad habit – I am!

No I’m serious babe. Like Lana is like a hard worker and I’m like omg I’m going to drink this bottle of wine and watch the real housewives of orange county and all of a sudden I’ve missed the deadline for my chapters and Lana is like where are they here are mine and I’m like okay I sent it. But then she’s like I don’t see it so I’m like uhmm maybe your email is all fucked up babe have you called google?

Anyways, when I said bad habits are bad, 1) I was joking and 2) I wanted to say that while I was in Europe and wondering what to even do with everything, guess who pops back in? Seriously I was in Paris and all of a sudden someone sits down next to me. And I look over and it’s Lana.

And I’m like whoa baby I must be really drunk already. But that didn’t make any sense because it was only like 10:30 am over there and I mean I’ve been drunk that early before (tailgate parties in college anyone? I mean one time I got so drunk I was doing this kegstand and I forgot I wasn’t wearing panties under this skirt I had on and that was slightly awkward.) Anyways so Lana sits down and I’m like looking at her like whoa what are you doing here. This after I pinched her a couple times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I know I know I’m supposed to pinch myself but I mean it was easier to just pinch her.

Anyways, she started to talk and tomorrow I’m gonna talk about that because the convo with Lana deserves its full story. Anyways, ttyl babe. Oh, if you haven’t yet, check out the book Hit & Run that Lana and I wrote that you can get on the book page.

Anyways, talk soon babes. I have like 11,000 emails to start to go answer and then I gotta write this book with Lana.

Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,

Alexis