Oh My God What Did We Do

Alexis told me we’d go out for New Years Eve. Yeah I was ready for that. I was ready to get a little drunk and maybe dance and flirt.

What I wasn’t ready for was Alexis striding into a club, dressed in black, like some conquering Queen as people got out of her way. I’m following after her, a bit intimidated to watch people parting like how Moses parted the Red Sea as she’s walking to a VIP table with two bouncers.

“Alexis, this is some book shit, babe,” I told her.
“Nah babe, it’s just New Years Eve,” she said nonchalantly.

We got two bottles of Grey Goose and someone came out of somewhere I don’t even know when it was time to refill my drink and make me another.

“What about guys?” I asked Alexis. “If we sit in this VIP section then how will we ever meet any guys.”

Alexis just smiled at me. Then she got up from her chair and went close to the velvet rope.

And Angels, I swear to God. Alexis just points at three dudes. And they come over. Like being summoned.

Two of them are talking to her and she’s all disinterested like she doesn’t care. One of them is talking to me.

“Get my friend Lana laid,” I hear her say to her two guys at one point.

After that it’s a blur.

I know I did waaaaay too many shots. I remember the three guys coming home with us. I think we had a few more people that came over too.

We went to In-N-Out. I remember one of the guys won me a big stuffed animal at a arcade.

They were naked in our living room, Angels. I remember one of them brought a riding crop and I was whipping him with it on the ass. I didn’t sleep with any of them, but two of the girls that came along (I think Alexis made friends with them) threw their panties up at our ceiling fan. One was hanging there this morning.

I remember Alexis kicking everyone out at 6 am and using Doordash to call White Castle. We ate it and threw the wrappers in our fireplace.

Then I passed out. Until maybe about 4 pm today.

I. Am. Never. Drinking. Again.