So I figured something as momentous as moving in with Alexis deserved a post. Because…well you’ll find out.
So Alexis used to have a dog. She’ll talk about that later I’m sure, it’s not my story to tell. But I don’t understand how the dog couldn’t have made life difficult for her. I’ll explain why.
So I arrive bright and early in the morning with a small birthday cake because my friend is taking her special day to help me move in.
Alexis takes the cake and gives me coffee. Then we look at the huge U-haul that I brought with me.
Then, as if on command, she almost claps her hands and three men appear out of nowhere. Okay, maybe she didn’t clap her hands, but it was freaky. She introduces them to me as IT Guy, Gym Rat, and Gym Bro. Now I know they have real names but this is Alexis so this is what she calls them in real life. I’m a bit stunned.
Then Alexis instructs her harem (there’s no better word for what I was seeing) and they proceed to flex and grunt and roar. Then they all go and start picking things up from the U Haul and bringing it inside.
“Just don’t open that closet,” is all Alexis keeps on saying for a bit. IT Guy sets up my computer and electronics. Gym Bro and Gym Rat bring my suitcases and light furniture like my bed and nightstand in. They also bring my television.
I bring in my clothes. I don’t want an Alexis man to be running his hands over my lingerie, if you know what I mean.
“Alexis I need to hang my coat,” I tell her.
“Wait!” Don’t open that closet, she says, referring to the hallway closet.
But I open it, because how bad can it be. I mean I get it. She probably stuffed some things in there when she was getting ready for me. We’ve seen each other naked at the spa. I’m able to handle a closet.
I open it.
First, the clothes fall out. The closet ceiling is about 10 feet tall. So I have clothes falling on me from the ceiling.
Then shoe boxes come tumbling down.
Then some pots and pans.
Some more clothes.
Cups. A plate?
A box of Apple Jacks. A sweater. And an old iphone.
“You opened it!!!” Alexis says with a pout.
We spend a good five minutes laughing. And then she asks Gym Bro to put it all back in.
This is going to be an insane life. I can already tell.