Hey Angels! So we got a submission yesterday from a male author. He dropped a note and a story and asked that you guys decide if he writes with us or not. So let me first drop the note he sent us:
Hey Daphne. I saw your email and wanted to introduce myself. My name is (REDACTED) and I want to start to write contemporary romance. I’ve read quite a few of your books and am interested in becoming an author. Enclosed I’ve submitted a short story. Can you see if I am good enough to write with your group and can you ask your Dirty Angels whether they like it? Thank you for your consideration.
Regards,
(NAME REDACTED)
Ok so here is the story!
Wow, what a day.
I just came from this Senate Budget Committee meeting and I am spent. I have to go run to another subcommittee meeting on Ways and Means this afternoon. I need to pass by my office to check on my other engagements for today.
I open the door and I see a figure bending over my wooden ornate desk, writing on what appears to be my calendar. My phone is off the hook and being answered by this person.
You have to give it to asses, especially wide, curvaceous ones similar to JLo. They can sure take whatever fatigue that has set in my body. I am energized right away and I feel my dick getting hard in an instant.
“Who are you?” I ask this intrepid soul poring over my notes.
“Pam, your new body woman, Senator Mathers. I am a new intern just assigned to your office,” she replied in an insouciant way, “I am assigned here to take care of your meetings and be your assistant.”
Her confidence turns me on further. The bulge is getting bigger. I think I saw her glance somewhat at my groin area.
“I didn’t request for an intern. Suzanne is just right outside and she takes care of my needs,” I retort to her smart reply.
“I bet she can’t take care of all of your needs Senator and soon-to-be Commander In Chief,” she replies with a naughty glint on her eyes. “She couldn’t be for she is what, a hundred years old? You look like you can crush her with those biceps of yours.”
You know, I have been in Washington for about 2 years now and I am running for President, correct. But I haven’t seen someone as fresh as this doll.
Sure, I have my share of wanton indiscretions with Capitol Hill women who want to use me. And on the way here, I must have fucked hundreds of women when I was mayor and governor. But never have I been as ruthlessly propositioned or flirted with by someone who is so new.
“You know, you are crossing the line here. I won’t tolerate this type of talk,” I remind her.
Somehow I can detect that this girl feels that I am serious when I let go of those words. She just smiles and curtsies.
“I am so sorry Senator Mathers. I am out of line. Please forgive me. Your chief of staff, Mr. Carrell advised me to talk fresh with you for he is simply tired of sending women over to your office every day,” she explains.
She continues, “Mr. Carrell said that you have a tendency to eat women alive especially those who act like sheep. You prefer dominant ones and that is exactly what you ordered him to get.”
She is right. I mention to Jack weeks ago that the interns he keeps on sending all look stunned when I am talking to them. Their wide-eyed expressions cause a lot of problems with the office since they can’t do their job. Good thing Suzanne is always there to pick up the pieces and right the ship in its course.
I must admit that I have a hand in that because I tend to fuck them while they are working. These fresh off the bus gals must haven’t seen that big of a dick from where they came from. It doesn’t take a lot for them to being poked by good ol’ Snakey.
Yep, I call my dick Snakey. You might as well know for he is a killer and he is smelling his prey now.
I go for the jugular.
“How bad do you need this job, Pam?” I question her with a smirk written on my face.
“Very bad, Senator Mathers,” she reaches out to my hand and fondles it.
I glance at the door and see that it is already locked. I have to put in an automatic locking device on it to make sure that my transgressions will not get interrupted.
Bingo, all systems go, captain!
Remember earlier when I say that she has an ass like JLo? Well, what do you know; her breasts are as big as her namesake Pamela Anderson before the breast reduction surgery.
I always fall for curvaceous women. All my friends and benefactors, especially the notorious Mr. Carrell, know this dirty secret.
They keep on supplying me with women of this caliber. Black, white, Asian, Latina, heck, if they can get an Eskimo woman, I am sure she would have been here and fucked already by Snakey.
I grab her left hand with my right and silently bring her to the leather couch at the right of my table. I kick the button on its right side and the couch instantaneously converts to a king sized bed.
Pam’s eyes go wide. She looks at me.
“I would like to use your bathroom, if I may, Senator,” she excuses herself.
I let her go. Pretty soon, I can hear the sink being turned on.
I am debating whether to follow her for I am hard as a rock already. She is taking her time. She is a cock tease, no doubt about it.
Damn bitch. She is going to give me a heart attack. Snakey is getting inconsolable.
I follow her to the bathroom. I step in and I see her applying a lip gloss. She has taken off her shirt already and is just wearing a skimpy panty.
“Can’t wait Senator?” she looks at me just like a thief who is caught in the act of larceny.
I grab her beneath her armpits and place her on top of the long table.
My bathroom is a modified man cave.
Plenty of tables and sofas to put asses on. Every direction from where you are standing will have a recliner, a sofa, a love chair or a plush table ready for use.
Costs a lot to put everything in place but I shouldered it out of my pocket. No way that I will bill the government for this. They are giving me endless pussies enough to compensate.
I make Pam lie down and proceed with removing the only piece of clothing left on her gorgeous body – her panties.
I use my teeth to bring it down slowly to her legs and spit it out to the floor. I lick her at the same time while dragging these panties down. It must have taken 10 minutes just to get this out of her body.
During that time she is starting to shiver and whine. The room is as cold as Siberia. I intentionally put this room at this temperature to make the bitches shiver.
Shivering bitches are better pussies to fuck. The body is forced to heat itself up during moments of extreme coldness and part of this heat is being distributed to the pussies. I challenge you to fuck a hot pussy and I tell you that it is simply heaven.
Mr. Carrell, I am waiting for that Eskimo bitch you promised years ago.
She reaches out to me for she needs a hot body to embrace. And I am steaming like an oven right now. Smoldering, I dare say.
I take off my clothes one by one. Pam is forced to watch me undress. When I take off my boxers, she lets out a gasp.
Snakey is sprung. He is as erect as any Marine and his impressive girth is being showcased by those bulging veins. You can see the hunger and anger in this dick.
I hold Snakey with both hands and put it near Pam’s face. She bolts out of the table and grabs Snakey with her own two hands. She kneels in front of me and proceeds to take Snakey in.
She fails miserably. She can only take in up to half of his entire length. Six inches to go bitch, I tell her.
But the bitch doesn’t know the word quit. She spits at Snakey and rubs him with her saliva. Snakey must have grown another inch or two because of this.
She gets back to work.
I can see the head of my dick distorting her throat. It could very well be at the upper borders of her stomach.
You know these views are normal to me.
I once have a girl give me a blow job and I swear I saw my dick literally distort her sternum. Snakey appeared right between her boobs. I have never been so turned on in my life that I proceeded to give her the fuck of her life.
Nothing turns me on then until right at this moment watching Pam trying to take Snakey all in. She is mustering all her strength to put it in its entirety inside her mouth. I bet her jaw is taking a shellacking also.
Finally, she stands up. She still wouldn’t let go of my dick. She is holding on to Snakey with her right hand.
She proceeds to sit at one of my love chairs inside the bath room and returns to sucking the life out of my dick.
I am beginning to have a distinct admiration for this woman. I must admit that I am near the point of exploding but like a Jedi, I use mind tricks to immediately shut down this thought.
I am having too much fun with this bitch just to let it go like that.
After what seems to be like eternity, she finally pleads with me.
“Fuck me, Senator,” she purrs.
No way, I told her with finality.
I grab her by her ass and put her astride a love recliner. I raise her legs up to the horizontal bars situated at its sides. I put a clamp on her legs thus effectively locking her in that position.
I also tie her hands on the armrests of this chair. She does not resist at all. The bitch is too tired from all that cocksucking, I guess.
She is exposed and wide open for me to do anything I want.
I go back to my cabinet and bring out a dildo named Stickey. I must admit that I have my sex toys stored inside this man cave of mine. Plenty of them.
I remember the time when I first started using them. You see, having a foot long dick does get tiring too. You have to entertain yourself.
It was an accident when I discover that women like having both of their holes being drilled at the same time. And since I am an old-fashioned guy who detests having another swinging dick with me during my fuck sessions, I have no choice but to get an inanimate partner instead.
I put Stickey to work immediately. I make it circle around Pam’s pussy making sure that it is not touching her all the time. She resumes whimpering in no time at all.
When I see almost at the verge of exploding, I pull Stickey out.
“You are a fucking nut making me go out of my mind, Derek!” she exclaims.
I guess when you are as horny as a toad, formal titles don’t matter anymore. You’re just a dick that is out there driving her wild.
I resume teasing her pussy with Stickey. At the same time, I stick a finger inside her ass. She immediately stops making a sound.
Bitch looks like she has been hit by lightning.
I warn her accordingly, “You will be fucked at the same time by my dick and this dildo, Pam.”
She nods acceptingly. She is resigned to her fate. She has no choice for she wants to be fucked.
I believe that if only her jaws were up to it, she will still be sucking the life out of Snakey.
I remove my finger from her ass and stick my tongue to her pussy. I use one of my right fingers to play with her clit. She smells like a rose.
With my left hand, I nudge Stickey near her asshole. I am starting to make small penetrating probes inside of it. She is resisting. I tell her to relax and stick my right forefinger up her mouth.
She is being fucked right now, three ways. My finger is at her mouth, my tongue is licking her pussy, and Stickey is doing the job with her ass.
I intentionally am leaving Snakey out of this fuck fest for now. He will have his share soon.
Pam is shaking uncontrollably at this time. She is having a seizure just like an epileptic. She must have come a million times.
She pleads with me again, “Fuck me, for the love of everything that is good and green on this earth, please.”
I am still enjoying playing with her. I place her on her knees, doggie style. I cup her breasts and using Stickey again, proceed putting it inside her pussy and her asshole alternately. She is literally shrieking like a banshee.
I abandon all what I am doing and carry her again. I bring her to my office, right back where we first see each other.
I place her on the sofa now turned bed. I pull her legs and place them right over my shoulders. I proceed to enter her with reckless abandon.
Even after all of this foreplay, it is still difficult to penetrate her with ease. Looks like this bitch is just a cock tease for her pussy has not played around much. Or, simply the dicks fucking her pale mightily compare to Snakey.
I don’t care. I just hold on to her butt and smash her like a tomato. Pretty soon, she is taking all of Snakey. I fuck her violently and the sofa turned bed is creaking mightily.
I don’t know if she has lost consciousness but she is quiet. I look at her and she is crying.
She looks at me.
“You are a fucking god! I am losing my mind because of this,” she exclaims.
This spurs me on further.
I grab Stickey and proceed to push it towards her ass. Pretty soon, Snakey and Stickey are fucking her together like there is no tomorrow.
I stop for a brilliant idea came over me.
I place Stickey between her breasts and I put Snakey near her mouth.
The fucking continues only this time, it’s her mouth and her breasts turn at the table. She takes Snakey like a gamer knowing that her jaw is probably still sore from all that sucking moments ago.
“Don’t you ever come?” she is asking or pleading now.
I don’t fucking care. I continue to fuck her like there’s no tomorrow.
But I know that I am almost there. I can feel it building in my balls. There is one mighty load waiting to be unleashed down there.
I lay down beside her in a spooning position and proceed to fuck her ass with Snakey from behind. I make Stickey go inside her cunt. Her breasts are shaking like papayas and is making me crazier.
This is why I like women with big asses and breasts. There are simply more of them to love and fuck, I always say to myself. When these T&A shake, my dick gets harder.
I am almost there.
She doesn’t care anymore for I think she is on another state of consciousness. She must have come a million times that it is now her default condition. She is in a perpetual state of orgasm.
I make her lie down on her back. I fuck her couple of times on her breasts and then that’s it.
I explode like a cannon and I spew what must have been a gallon of cum all over her face. She has them on her eyes, nose, lips, hair, and even ears when she turns her face. It is like a geyser.
I don’t know why but I must have kept on spilling cum on her face for a long time. She tries to put some inside her mouth but she runs out of space within it. She spits them out instead.
I am spent and I lie down beside her.
I admit that I haven’t fuck anybody this long and this hard since when? I don’t know for I can’t recall so it must be the first time that I did so.
Sex has a funny way of putting people in their proper places. I look at her and I don’t see the cocky attitude anymore.
“Please fuck me always. I have never experienced this before,” she gushes, “I will do anything to be here with you. I don’t care when and where but I will be there. It is worth it.”
I get up to go to the bathroom to clean myself up. She follows immediately.
She grabs Snakey and cleans it up with her own mouth. Before you know it, it gets hard right away.
I let her suck me again. This bitch is the energizer bunny. I come on her face again.
After I clean up myself and Stickey, I wait for her outside at my office.
She joins me later not looking anything worse for wear. If anything, the glow is very obvious on her face. She continues what she is doing when I first see her.
I look at her body and I still see traces of my cum on her face. It is turning me on again.
“You will be my intern. There are only two rules that you have to understand. One, sex will only happen here inside this office and two, this will be only between us. Nobody else should know,” I lay down my conditions.
She accepts them with no objections whatsoever. She resumes her work.
I also go back to my notes and starts preparing for the subcommittee meeting scheduled in a couple of hours. Surprisingly, I am not tired anymore.
I look at her bouncing tits and ass. I go grab her again.
Lemme know what you think, Angels!
A male fantasy starring the woman as only receptacle and “bitch” – NO THANKS. Yet another male who doesn’t “get” it.
I don’t think he understands his audience here at DLA. I also think he needs to work on his grasp of the English language. He sounds like someone learning English as a second language.
Sorry, but I’m not impressed with this submission. Writing style doesn’t flow like DLA authors.
I would like to see some male authors join. He needs some work. Maybe you Angels could work with him and get him polished. There is no connection. There’s got to be more to the plot than what he shared.
Well, that was…..interesting to say the least. I am most definitely an advocate for male authors joining Dirty Angels, but this guy needs some serious advice and help! Has he ever read any kind of romance at all? Most women don’t respond well to being called bitches, or any other names! Also, he sure made his male character out to be the ultimate fuck machine, didn’t he? To say I am disappointed would be putting it mildly. I hope he takes constructive criticism well and makes some changes to his writing style. This “short” with no plot or story will seriously limit his scope of readers! I wish him luck, but right now, he isn’t Angel material.😕
Not a fan.
Not for me. Not up to Alexis’s style and the style of all the Angel authors to me. Sorry the answer is no for me.
no thank you he needs to take a writing course and develop a story line this was almost painful to read
There is no substance. Just dirty. Love dirty, don’t get me wrong.
The guy needs some professional advice from the likes of Mickey Miller, Logan and Jacob Chance, Ashton Blackthorn, Luke Prescott…..
Maybe even some writing courses to help him outline and organize his thoughts.
I love discovering new authors. He should not give up his dream. He just needs a little help.
HE NEEDS A LOT OF HELP!!!! He reminds me of guys in high school and college who think they are everything but end up being all talk and a short penis. All for male writers, like Eddie Cleveland and Chance Carter, but this man, not your caliber ladies!
I thought the same thing
I agree with all the other Dirty Angels comments. I didn’t enjoy it and I think he need to start over and try again. Not yet ready to join the Angels Team.
I agree with Cynthia Komsn. He does need some work with his writing. Making the female a bitch is not a turn on. It would be a no for me. I like male authors, but he had no substance to the story. It was just one big fuck fest.
“ Snakey”,”Stickey”……REALLY????
It’s a Pass for me.
So down & dirty is fine but sentence structure is weak.
Bitch! Really!? I think not.
Eskimo..even worse..
Where’s the HEA..can we say sex slave anyone..
I liked the setting thats about it…
Ok I know I might hear it for this one, first let me say did I enjoy the read the answer would be no, he needs to read more romance to see what women like. I recommend he look at some of the books out there that male authors who are successful write to see their writing style. Here’s what I do think though it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there whether we like the writing style. We don’t want to shoot anyone down for taking a risk. Do I think he needs to do some work, the answer would be yes, but I think he could learn. Maybe in addition he could take some writing classes on the side. Romance might not be the style of writing he should be doing. If you love something though even if you never get published keep writing if only for yourself. I do agree with the other Angels that I wouldn’t mind a male author joining the ranks, there a some very good male authors out there.
I agree with the others we could use a male author but not this one…he needs to read more of your book’s to get what we want. Maybe with work who knows.
I would have to say this is a no for me. He needs some help with his writing. If he is going to be using Bitch to describe a woman then the setting and context needs to be correct. If it is a scene set where the woman likes to be called names like that, then it is ok but just to call her that is a big turnoff for me. He would need to have a better lead in otherwise it us all about his needs and not her’s. All of you are fantastic authors and he isn’t any where close to all of you.
I think his story had potential.
It flowed really well.
I think that is how a guys mind works, saying bitch, etc.
Maybe he has a market somewhere else, but not on here if most don’t want a male author pov. Or don’t want to read straight erotica.
This probably does have a market, but I don’t feel like it’s something for your store.
True, men and women both like sex, and to get a man’s view of it could be hot for a woman, but this isn’t a view as much as a fantasy.
There are positive narrative elements, and perhaps this writer could be good with a little literary training, but this excerpt, as it is presented, doesn’t read as a complete romantic/sexual experience.
There’s a lot of potential, but I, personally, don’t see this writing beside your store’s stock.
I’m in agreement with the other Angel’s,,,, he might’ve wrote a scene for a book, but it’s not a book for your Angel’s to read,,, giving his “bitch” a “facial” right away, actually twice, really didn’t do it for me,,,, it’s not like they’ve been a couple for awhile or worked their way into it,,,,like dont’cha think it would’ve ruined her hair and make-up,,,???,,, but right away she comes out of the restroom all peachy,,, uhmm,,, prolly not,,,just didn’t do it for me at all right then,,, having a man’s POV is good,,, but this just didn’t read “sexual” for me,,,to each their own, I guess,, he could maybe use some training,, it wasn’t all bad,,,jmo,,,
No thank you. He need some work. What’s up with bitch and snakey and stickey seriously???
Storyline also not so great for me. Not angel material for me.
This is a pass for me. I understand being “used” but I need some sort of connection between the characters otherwise the “use” is a turnoff. Best male author I have read was Chance Carter (just so happens Amazon banned him too).
No thanks. Not Angel worthy. Agree with Kris. Have read many good Chance Carter books.
Honestly No, he needs more worked, lack therefore and has no impact at all sadly. I’m very interested to the idea of working and having a part of male author to your DLA Team.
No thanks. Just dirty- missing something -nah everything. He doesn’t get it. Sorry dude what you wrote is more like a scene from a cheap porno- yeah guys whatch lots porn- submit it there.
I really don’t want to discourage this writer from pursuing his dream of becoming a romance writer and with that being said, I hope he can find an established writer that is willing and able to spend time with him and work on his style as well as getting a storyline that his readers will enjoy following. Right now there is a quality missing that reaches Angel expectations that he could work on achieving. Please Mr. Male Author, don’t give up on your dreams because we would all be lost without our dreams and expectations. Best of luck to you.
Ok I understand that the word bitch can turn some people on if its in the right setting such as role playing. Now after saying that I don’t see anything about love anywhere in this story. I don’t like this type of story.
Ummm…NO! Just an adamant no. Didn’t like anything about it.
I’d recommend maybe going with someone with some experience. This wasn’t even close to Angels’ standards.
No, the story seemed to forced. It didn’t really flow. There were too many cliche phrase, Jlo’s ass, Pam Anderson breasts. This just isn’t Angel material. Maybe an erotic website.
Well first of all, it’s more if a chapter than a short. Second he really needs an editor because he can’t stay in tense our us proper verbs and adjectives. Third he was writing a male fantasy not a female romance, there is a difference. Fourth, I can live with “bitch” if there is more substance and it’s not used in a derogatory manner. He has potential but he’s not Dirty Angel caliber. Don’t give up the dream but definitely read a few books to see what women really want or else change genre and just write erotica for men.
Nope, not even close! There’s a Huge difference between competent a d dominant in the work place. I believe the senator wanted someone competent, period. Especially in D.C., where rumor and innuendo run rampant without cause. I couldn’t read last that, I couldn’t stomach his lack of understanding of everything.
The only thing I could think was “juvenile” and “Ew, No!! Don’t put a toy in one hole & then into a different one without cleaning it!!” Maybe I’m too OCD about that, but it had me cringing! Not to mention the cliches! Not just the vernacular, but most guys actually DON’T think like this really, really. It seemed to be a put on ‘macho’ attitude of what was assumed a guy would be thinking, Not real. Men are more soft in their heads than most realize.
I say a hard pass for Naughty Angels, but don’t completely give up, just learn to be more honest & get some feels in there & a good editor for phrasing & tenses, etc!!
I’m all for male authors here, but better caliber than this.
💜
I agree with you about putting a toy and alternating without cleaning it off. That had me cringing too. I also didn’t like the word “bitch” the way he used it. He made her sound like she was his slave and yes, how did all the cum all over her face not mess her makeup up.I had a really hard time reading this to the finish. I agree with some of the others. He needs a lot of help writing romance that women enjoy. He needs to read some of Chance Carter’s books or Eddie Cleveland’s. I definitely would like some male authors to join but not the way this one writes. He sounds like a male chauvinist. Jmo.
That would be a NO from me
Not impressed. The story, what there is, does not flo w at all. Both story and sentence structure are very choppy. And I agree with the the other DLAs, the use of hitch was derogatory, not sexy.
Kindle keyboards suck! bitch, not hitch
It might have been more interesting if he had a female co-author to write a dual POV story, with some humor included. However, as presented, it’s a rather raunchy juvenile male fantasy
sorry but no…could not finish it. Besides the grammar, sentence structure and punctuation issues (which I guess for a new writer maybe okay) the main character is an asshat, which if that is what the author was going for, then he nailed it. I am all for immediate lust etc. but what I was able to read was just ick!! No substance in his writing at this time, but don’t give up…..maybe join a local writers group if one is in his area…..
I agree with the rest of the angels. He has no grasp of what is considered contemporary romance. This is pure male fantasy erotica, nothing more. It is derogatory and sexist. Male authors today are more in tune with their “female” side. A good male author understands what drives a story, he understands his characters, he can have them sexy, sweet, mean, lovable, crass, rude, crude, and still all in a very believable way with a storyline that is believable and of course with a great HEA. Authors like Jaxson Kidman, Eddie Cleveland, Ashton Blackthorne, RR Banks, Logan and Jacob Chance, and other wonderful writers know how to hit that nerve in us that have us moaning along with the characters, loving, crying, laughing and so totally involved that when the end come, we are gasping and crying for more. I know this is disjointed. I don’t do well with trying to get all of my feelings out, but I hope is some small way, I did make sense. Our Angels have standards and to be part of Naughty Angels he MUST meet those standards, no two ways about it.
That’s a no for me. I believe that it has potential but it absolutely needs more work. I agree with the rest of the Angels.
Absolutely not! I am all for the idea of trying a male author, but I thought you meant an experienced author. I couldn’t even finish this. This guy immediately lost me at his constant derogatory use of “Bitch”, and then, “Snakey” and “Stickey” – Seriously? How old is he? And some parts were just downright disgusting! UTI, anyone! There was absolutely no emotions present here. I don’t mind rauchiness, but I also want some emotion and respect in a story. Sorry, but a definite NO, if that’s the best he has to offer.
I must say that this doesn’t do it for me…..
Not bad, has potential, but needs some work. Has a Cass Dee/Katie Ford book feel. Sleazy Senator who treats women as whores, just needs the right women to change his ways.
No, thank you.