Hey Angels,
Thank you all for your all comments and emails about your “word” to focus on for the year. It has been really heartening to see those, and your goals, for the new year!
I want us all to support each other.
If you’re looking to lose weight and/or build an exercise/eating healthy habit, then remember to make those good choices today!
If you’re looking to find love, then put your heart out there, and don’t settle!
If you’re looking to read a lot of books – lol we got hundreds of emails about reading goals alone – then hey y’all, get to it! Always happy to support a reader! It sounds silly, but creating an actual reading list has helped me. My mom has a spiral notebook she writes all her series that she’s reading in, and she puts a check next to the books as she reads them. Simple, but it works!
If you’re working, going to school, and that’s where your goals are, then I support that hustle! Keep working hard for what you believe in and you can achieve it.
I’m so grateful for all the Angels, who not only support me , but each other!
Let’s all support each other in 2020!
I’m setting some new writing goals and I know our cover designer is setting some goals, too, lol, to keep up with all our stories!
So, one more thing… I am serious about something else this year. I really want to keep dating and getting to know Aiden.
I think I don’t want to rush into a relationship yet.
I’ve always been in relationships and I never thought my marriage would end. I don’t want to end what I feel is supposed to be forever, and that’s how I feel about marriage.
So I’m not rushing into it. I’m taking it slow enough to be sure.
But it’s not like me to just “play the field” or whatever you want to call it. Dating non-exclusively seems odd to me. And while the fun I have with Alexis or with other guys might be just that – fun – I’m not used to being in non-serious relationship type stuff.
But Aiden does seem like someone I could be serious about. I think I just need to be sure that, after spending nearly a decade with a man and having that end, that the instant it feels good, I don’t just jump in.
We need to know more about each other than… I guess, the good stuff. I have to know that he’s not someone I care about when it is easy, but he’s someone I care about when things get real, or hard. Everything’s easy and fun at the beginning, just like in friendships, but you have to see who sticks through.
And Aiden’s not a problem here. I mean, I know he’s been a bit of a manslut in the past – no judgement. What I mean to say is… there’s not a problem, but if there was one, it is that I think I’m still wounded and not ready to commit again. I think that I want more space to understand who I am and to be able to love deeply and take care of someone the way my momma raised me to be. It isn’t just a piece of paper, to me, when you marry someone. It is about being lifelong partners.
And I want that.
But I’m not ready to be anyone’s lifelong partner yet. I need to be more present and mindful in my own life. To explore what I want and to be able to be alone with myself. Know who I am.
Then I can love someone else.
Sorry, didn’t mean to get all heavy. But it is heavy, and serious. If you’ve lost your spouse and you’re going on, still, stay strong. My heart and my prayers are with you.
I’m ready for the weekend already. I’m going to curl up with my reading list, a warm cup of coffee, and spend some time with myself.
What are your weekend plans, Angels?
You are such a mature minded lady! Take things slow. Don’t rush into anything you don’t want to. Take your time and get to really know Aiden, the good the bad and the sexy! If Alexis is on the menu then that’s cool that’s what you want if not don’t push it just state it’s not what you want and she will understand she seems like a smart young lady. Enjoy your life you’re only young once sweetheart take it from an old lady over here I know! Happy New Year and enjoy your year.
Lana
If your not ready to give your whole heart to Aiden then explain that to him.
But if you genuinely like the guy do what you think is appropriate don’t just take the advice of certain angels about you and your heart. Am proud of you for admitting that you still feel wounded from your ex most people I know can’t or won’t say it. Just be you!
Lana, you sound like you have really given this relationship thing a lot of thought. I agree that none of us should jump into anything permanent just because it feels good, or great, to begin with. We should take our time to really know the other person no matter how long it takes because eventually the warts will show, yes even our own, and then you get to see where the rubber meets the pavement.
This weekend I plan on doing as little as possible, reading and going through my Mom’s stuff in the safe to get on track with property and all that other boring stuff.
Hope all of you have a great weekend
Lana, you’re going to make me cry. This is the exact spot I’m in. When I was single, I was strong, knew what I wanted, and was confident. I was 28 when I got married. We were married 20 years before he passed away in 2018. I can’t find my footing and I’ve lost that confidence. I’m now taking one second, one minute, one breath, one step and one day at a time. I’ve got to get my confidence and sureness back that I had when I was single and during my marriage. It’s slowly coming back. I hope to one day be ready to take that step again.