I hear you babes! After what happened with that last wild week I knew I totally needed to talk to IT Guy.
The talk. As in… where is this relationship going?
What do we want?
Where is this going?
I mean let’s be real. We said I love you but we’ve been like having amazing sex and going out all the time.
But assuming a relationship like NEVER goes well for anyones babes. We have to have the talk.
The big C word.
Hey not that one…
Commitment.
Like obviously I want to have a happily ever after… eventually.
And when you meet the one aren’t you supposed to know.
Don’t throw rocks at me but like ok I have only had that feeling once before.
We’re talking the more than sparks feeling. The ohmigod this man, only this man forever feelings.
Things are special with IT Guy. I mean I didn’t save myself for marriage. I’m using my dating years for like dating but I don’t want to be alone.
But I don’t want to rush into anything.
And things haven’t been like “we talked about it being serious and it is serious” serious.
Part of me thinks I should be like worried IT Guy will be like I don’t want to be serious and committed and I take it back.
But I think I should worry about that… but I’m not?
Like I kind of will be happy either way?
I don’t know. Maybe that’s not it. It’s hard to put my finger on.
I know I love IT Guy. It’s just… there’s something lingering in my brain and I don’t know how to put it.
But I definitely need to have the conversation with him. I’m sure he agrees.
So it is time to figure out like the details how.
I’m debating if we should do it in public or privately discuss this?
Is private safer for possibly hard conversation topics?
Is private worse because the greater chance of bow chicka wow wow sexy times when I look into his eyes and emotions are running strong?
I mean I can see the argument going either way Angels for doing public or private. I think it should probably be in private and with all the things going into this, I think I’ll actually try not to turn it into sex so we can be like clearheaded you know?
What do you think Angels?
And like what’s going on with me????????? Shouldn’t I just know what I want???
Should I use more question marks????? LOL help an Angel out 😉
I am going to say something very unlike me. I don’t think you need to have a talk like this right now. Things are good, but not especially serious and you are fine with it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. This is casual , healthy, fun. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Mprcperry, you took the words right out of my mouth. Way too soon. So totally agree. Just have fun with it. Took me a long time to get serious. Long, long time. Lol. Years.
Relationships and commitments always have ups and downs no matter who you are. Love is like that. Life is like that. Not all roses or sunflowers.
Truly think a talk is unnecessary at this juncture.
No, I would not have the talk right now. If the test the other week had been positive, I might suggest otherwise. It seems what you have with IT Guy, is a good thing. If you get too serious, you might jeopardize the special relationship you have right now. Just enjoy the time you are spending together. There will be plenty of time for seriousness when you get older.
Dear Alexis,
DO NOT HAVE THE TALK. I know we as women have the talking gene but this time is not the time to talk. You have been going out for a couple of months. I know you both said I love you but think about this. Can you picture your happily ever after with IT Guy right now? Right this moment? Can you honestly say yes that this is it? If you don’t then don’t speak. Not every relationship no matter how great it is has to end in HEA. There are some relationships that are there to make you happy. And that’s what IT Guy does. So enjoy it and when the real time comes for THE TALK and if it comes believe me you will know. Don’t listen to social conventions about relationships. Do what feels right to you and enjoy.
If your not ready for it to be serious then why have the talk yet. You needed to talk in case of an uh-oh. Then you would have decided our feelings and his. But if your not sure how you feel and want to keep it light then do that. Your still in the early stages and dont know where you will be down the road. You might start to feel stronger about him and then need the talk. But not now. Just enjoy and remember your the original angel (along w/ Lana).
I think its okay to have a talk now. You both need to know where the other is right now. How long have you been dating now? If it was me I would want to know if we were on the same page. I’m not saying you have to get all serious and start planning a wedding or anything like that. Maybe ask each other what the next year, 5 years ect look like.
Hope this helps.
Oh and i say in private.
I agree with Margaret. What’s the sense in having this big talk if you don’t even know what you really want? You could definitely jeopardize what you have now. Enjoy it for what it is. He’s good to you, you’re good to him. You make each other happy and you’ve both expressed your love. It doesn’t have to be more than that right now. Love doesn’t have to equal “forever”.
Are you happy right now? If so don’t rock the boat! Does this have something to do with winebar reaching out again? Let things roll and everything will work out. Don’t push cause you might ruin the future. Just talk with Lana and the other authors that know you both. Ask Aiden for “guy” advice.
Follow your own heart and do what you feel is best for you and IT guy. Stop relying on group think. Imho. This isn’t between IT guy and all the angels. This is between you two only. We don’t know you or him personally. We only know what we read here, that is not a real friendship. It’s us reading a blog. We wouldn’t know either of you if we sat down next to you. That’s for your privacy and his as well. That’s why the pseudo names. So why keep asking strangers for personal advice?
Sorry if this seems harsh! I’ve always dealt with reality and facts.
I agree with Nancy.
Ok, I get where the other angels are coming from but why shouldn’t you want to know where things are going?
Like you said, you do eventually want your HEA. But you don’t want to go through everything then he’s not willing to commit & then you’re back at square one.
What’s the harm in finding out if there is a future between you? You’re not proposing, just getting a feel of where his head is at.
In the end it’s your decision & we’ll all support you whatever you decide. 😘
I agree Renee
What’s up?
Hey sorry, we’ve been doing updates on the store. The Broken Engagement series has finished publishing today and the blog will be back soon.
You have to listen to your own heart and do whats best for you …. dont listen to others who dont know you ,,,,, maybe talk to Lana as she is your bff and would give you good advice….. I wish you good luck in whatever decision you make
I’m in agreement with the majority. This relationship is still in its early stages. Take it for what it is right now and love and enjoy one another. When the time comes to have “the talk’ you’ll know it deep down and not question it.
I’m going to add a 1/2 cent here and say, don’t worry about the talk right now. Think about it this way, before the “I’m late” scare, everything was going amazingly. Just because you say you love each other, doesn’t mean that isn’t the perfect time to freak out about a unplanned pregnancy. Men take much longer to “get it together” when it comes to babies. Most women, as soon as they think they might be pregnant, get that mothering gene going! Enjoy your special relationship with a man who treats you like the Angel you are. This man has been there for you when “other” men were distant and not avail. IT guy just got spooked at the thought of being a daddy before you are both ready. Good luck, with whatever decision you make!
Didn’t IT guy said your relationship was successful because you were both very busy with work? That tells me he is happy with your current level of commitment. I don’t think now is the time for a talk.
Unless you can commit to spending more time with him which it seems is not possible now, what is the point?
Just keep going as you are and don’t rush things. You’ll know when it’s time.
Ok I agree with the majority and don’t have the talk right now. This relationship is too new for that right now. Yes you do sometimes meet the one and things happen quickly but those are rare, believe me because I got married after dating for six months but the odds of it working out are very slim. Lucky for me it has worked and we have been married for a long time. You don’t really know someone until you have been dating for awhile. In most cases love grows and eventually you come to a place where you are ready for more or you want to move on. Hopefully you are both on the same page at the same time. IT Guy cares about you and you feel the same let the relationship progress naturally.
You should just take it one day at a time. Enjoy the moment. If it’s meant to be it will just happen naturally.Let him come to you. The word commitment is just what it is words. Don’t let that word stop you from enjoying everyday. Live your life to the fullest.
We know It guy cares about you and has said he loves you but I really think you dont need to have “The Talk” with him yet. Enjoy life right now. Please try to take things one step at a time and dont push for more to soon and mess up what you have with him right now.
I do agree with the majority here that you’re both happy so if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but isn’t it good to know where you stand, why not tone down The Talk into more of a light hearted chat so you both are on the same page.
Neither of you seems ready for lifelong commitment, that was just the scare cos that shit is terrifying!!!
Your young and in love enjoy what you have and be happy. Maybe a few months or even a year down the line you’ll know in your gut when the real talk is necessary xx
“The Talk” should be something private between just the two of you and if you aren’t sure you are really ready to take that next step then enjoy the relationship you now have. If the day and time comes that you feel that you truly want more from the relationship and he hasn’t broached the subject himself, then I say go for it. Ultimately you want a forever relationship but maybe this isn’t the right time for either of you.
I truly wish you the best and know this is a difficult decision but you might need to be a little more sure of each other <3
He was married once. He’s not adverse to committing to a woman. His wife DIED! He’s afraid of feeling that kind of hurt and pain; he’s protecting his heart. He’s already said he loves you. Be content and happy IN this moment of your budding relationship. He already “stepped up” when he thought you were pregnant so, you can be rest assured that he’s a stand up guy. Unlike the other douche canoe who shall “ not be named” but We all know who he is. Let this romance play out and it’ll will either die off naturally or bloom into something more. You’ve gotten more from him in the short time you’ve been together than you ever did with AssHat.
Where has everything gone ! No newsletters for 3 weeks. 🤬 !
Hey sorry I have been updating site but NL and blog will be back ASAP!!!
Many many thanks…….panicked we’d lost you all again xx