Posted on 5 Comments

I think I got an STD….

Because check it out I found out today that Gym Bro was sick with the flu and he’s been laid up in bed for the last few days.
I have the flu too and I’ve been laid up the last few days.
I must have gotten it from having sex with him! When I was having sex with the both of them.
A disease you catch while having sex makes it sexually transmitted right?
Oh my God!
I can’t believe this.

Of course Lana is trying to convince me that I don’t have an STD and that the flu doesn’t count.

she’s like you guys didn’t get the flu by exchanging bodily fluids and I’m like “oh yeah, well one of them spit on my face and I licked it up! So there”

At which point Lana just looks at me strange.

And I’m like….”well I told them to because I wanted to be all slutty” and she’s like you told them to and I’m like what? I just wanted to see what it was like and she’s like wow I need to get out more.

But then I tell Daphne as we’re working (Lana is there too) that I have beaten back an STD and the debate starts all over again!!!

I mean, like come on. Just go with me on this right?

Only Natalie is with me on this. She’s like ya girl you totally have an STD and Daphne and Lana are like “ahem the flu is not an STD”

I’m like yeah okay it totally isn’t if you like get it from the guy at the corner store but if you get it while having sex it becomes an STD.

This isn’t to make getting STDs less significant. Thankfully I’ve always practiced safe sex and recommend that everyone do so. I’ve been very clean with all my sex toys and everything I put inside me. I clean my sex toys more than I do dishes or laundry as Lana will attest.

It’s very important to be healthy and safe, Angels. Because at the end of the day, as I found out from my own fighting back the flu-STD that when you’re lying in bed shivering and having delirious dreams about purple unicorns killing mean people that you are at the end of the day responsible for your own safety and health. No matter what anyone says – be it husband, boyfriend, lover, girlfriend, or just booty call – you need to make sure that you’re safe and you take care of yourself first. Because the trick to being an independent and strong woman who stands up for herself is not letting what someone else dictates sway you when it comes to your own safety.

So a bar seems sketchy? Don’t go in. One of your boyfriends friends seems off? Let your man know and tell him that you aren’t going to be in the same room together if there’s alcohol involved. It’s a dark parking garage? Then call a friend to have them accompany you.

It may seem inconvenient, but like my momma always said – it’s better to be a few minutes late if you’re driving than speeding and getting into an accident. Because then you’re really late.

Anyways, I dunno if this rambling made any sense but I’m going back to bed bc I have the flu. Love you angels

5 thoughts on “I think I got an STD….

  1. Alexis,

    Technically you got the flu from having sex with someone that had a touch of the flu. Thank goodness you did not get a dreaded STD (HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea), but this shows how easy it would be to get one. If you still aren’t feeling well in a couple of days you might want to double-check you didn’t get mono though. Hope you feel better soon.

  2. lol, I have to agree with you Alexis and Natalie. You caught the flu from Gym bro when you had sex, so ergo, you technically got a STD.
    By the way I’m a nurse and do triage. I get at least 1 call a week during flu season asking of you can get the flu from sex. Hope you and Gym Bro got in for Tamfiflu and are feeling better soon!

  3. Putting all seriousness aside, you crack me up. I’ll go along with the flu-STD because it’s the only kind of STD I’d be willing to get 🙂 Oh my gosh, you should call Gym Bro and tell him he gave you an STD and see if he has a sense of humor. I do agree with Margaret though, if you’re not feeling any better soon you should see your doctor because from what I’ve seen at our hospital this year’s strain of flu is really bad and so many people are becoming dehydrated and ending up in the hospital. Hope you feel better soon.

  4. Sorry everyone. I know I am being the spoiler here, but I have to say that being a nurse, I just can’t find humor in any kind of diseases. They are just too serious a matter to those affected. I see their pain every day.

  5. My Main saying in life, ESPECIALLY after becoming ill & disabled 11 years ago-
    “Better Safe Than Sorry!”
    Works for more things than you think! From brain surgery (17 of them!) to picking up something you dropped & everything in between. ✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼

    We Angels HAVE to take care of ourselves first!

    It’s like when you fly & the flight attendant is doing their emergency speech & they get to the oxygen mask part? They always tell you to put yours on FIRST before helping even your child with theirs because you might pass out quicker & be of no use to whomever you’re trying to help, so put your mask on first & then turn to help others. …. Same in life. Take care of yourself first, then help others. 😘💋

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