Ok Angels I think we can all agree.
Honesty is totally the best policy.
Of course, right?
I mean, you want people to be upfront with you. You want to be upfront with other people.
This was my little pep talk to myself when I met IT for coffee this morning. I was like, be honest about your mess.
Here’s how it went.
IT Guy: So yeah I avoided you last night…
Alexis: Yep. I was also weird at dinner.
IT Guy: I told you I loved you.
Alexis: I told you I loved you.
IT Guy: I still do.
Alexis: I love you too, but right now I think I need to love me more. I’m really confused. With my ex showing up…yeah. But also saying I love you but not really being committed.
IT Guy: Yeah. I don’t think you’re ready for commitment.
Alexis: You keep saying that, but what do you want?
IT Guy: That’s not the point.
Alexis: Don’t avoid the subject. If I was ready to commit would you want to be? I’m not but I don’t know where you stand?!!
IT Guy: We have a lot of fun, Alexis, but I don’t think we should go further than that right now.
Alexis: I agree.
IT Guy: Ok.
Alexis: Are you seeing other people?
IT Guy: Do you want to?
I took a huge gulp of my coffee. Right now the only person I wanted to see was Lana LOL
Alexis: I don’t know how I feel about the amount of crazy I seem to be generating. I need like a mental refresh from all this.
IT Guy: I can help you relax…
We went back to his place. He slowly undressed me. I tried to think of nothing but the moment, and his tongue was a lot of help with that. His tongue on my tongue, his tongue all over me. Yeah, it was good.
Afterward I told him I had some cover designs to review and that I needed to send out my newsletter. He nodded and headed to his own laptop.
“I don’t think we should be exclusive,” he said after he sat down. “I had a lot of strong feelings for you, and I still do. So did my parents…and they’re both happily married to other people now.”
“I think you’re a great girl,” IT Guy started.
“I’m not a girl anymore. I’m in my thirties, no shame,” I interrupted. “And yeah I think the I love you was loaded for me. That usually comes close to the happily ever after.” I giggle like a teensy giggle.
“Yeah. And you’re intelligent, fiery, fun, focused, but I don’t know that you and I could start a family together. So I think maybe I thought about a lot of things you were thinking about too.” IT Guy walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.
I looked up at him. “This is definitely one of the classier break ups I think I have been a part of,” I say.
“We don’t need to break up, but I think we need to slow down.” IT Guys wraps his fingers around my upper arms gently but firmly.
I pull away.
“I don’t think I’m ready to move backwards in our lane,” I tell him. “And I need to move forward with me.”
“Oh,” IT Guy says.
“I’m not saying I never want to see you again. I’m not burning anything you left at my place,” I said with a big grin.
He laughs. “Same, I’m not doing that.”
“I love you…but I’m not in love with you. This has been a very special part of my life,” I tell him.
Grab my purse, walk out the door, come tell Lana everything? Yes, yes I did.
She didn’t say anything at first. We grabbed more coffee and got back to work. We’re about to head out for Taco Tuesday after I get the newsletter out.
Uhm… so am I crazy? I thought I love you was going to feel differently?
Am I so crazy for wanting my own Happily Ever After?