Dear Angels,
Thank you so much for all the love and support. From all the emails and the comments I want you to know that I truly am loved. And yes, our little Angel family has gone through a lot and we stick together.
It’s just been rough for me the last few months.
As a few of you have guessed…Mr. Lana Angel and I are separated. It happened right about the time that Alexis and I decided to go our separate ways. That was basically the underlying reason. He wanted to move away from the city and then he felt that I was becoming too dependent on Alexis and writing all the time with her. That I needed to be my own person.
What I didn’t realize is that Alexis brings out the best in me. She makes me laugh and makes me cry and makes me think. So did Ex.
I tried it his way. I tried to please him. I really did.
But then my account got shut down at Amazon and my books started to get pulled and I wasn’t sure what to do.
I suggested to him that I reach out to Alexis. But he wouldn’t have it. See…I think Ex (who used to be Mr. Lana Angel) and Alexis never got along. Actually, truth be told, he was always a bit intimidated of Alexis I think. Not that he usually gets intimidated – but you know how Alexis is. She once told him he was an idiot and when he kept doing something wrong she threw her shoe at him. It wouldn’t have been a big deal except he was eating a cheeseburger and he almost choked to death when the heel hit him in the head.
So there wasn’t any love lost between them. And he wanted me separate from her. But not just her. All of our author friends we’d made along the way.
I know Alexis told you guys about Daphne and Nat coming on board, but we made so many other friends and he wanted me to just write on my own. And then cook dinner and be a wife.
But I know I can do so much more.
We fought until he agreed that I could go to Paris. And then it took one whole day talking with Alexis making plans and I realized where I was missing things.
Alexis is silly. She’s got the temperament of a 12 year old. She’s vain (it’s true). She’s flighty. But she’s my best friend. And she’ll walk over fire to make sure I’m okay. I was missing that.
Anyways, putting my career first and my life first made him give me an ultimatum. Choose him or my life that I had always wanted.
I haven’t decided yet. But we are separated. And that’s what I’m dealing with.
Anyways this has gone on for a long post but I wanna share something with you guys to just say thank you.
Now we had a whole bunch of downloads and buys for our newest series that came out but Alexis is off on a date with…is it Tech Guy? IT Man? I forget whatever she calls him but he got home early and she hadn’t put the Featured Deal. So I did. As a founding member of the store, I’m putting it at more than 50% off for everyone who works on a budget. For the next 3 days, go ahead and grab it. Once it becomes a Featured Deal it stays so it’s my way of saying thanks to all you Angels.
Love you all
Lana
I just want to reach through the screen & give you a big hug.
Angels have your back every time & if that doesnât help then clearly Alexisâ has some dangerous heels lol.
Maybe you & Mr Lana Angel (or Ex) just need some space for a while. Hopefully he realizes how stupid heâs being in trying to be controlling (& not the good bedroom kind).
I obviously donât know a lot about your relationship & if thereâs still love there so I donât want to just assume things & give out bad advise.
But I know you wouldnât have come to this conclusion lightly.
Sending you nothing but love & support always.
Ditto
Follow your heart do what makes you happy hugs xx
Follow your heart do what makes happy hugs xx
I agree with Renee and Sam. Big hugs!!!
HUGS XXXX
Sorry to hear that but bottom line is you need to be happy, we only get one life. Ultimately you need to follow your dreams and passions, you canât follow someone elseâs dreams no matter how you much you love them. I have been in your shoes & the longer you try to please them, sadly the more you resent them. You need to look after you first, but your marriage should also be a compromise not a sacrifice, if it ends up working out for you thatâs great but if not you will survive (with many tears & hard times) but know you will get through it with a network of support surrounding you. Take care!
So right. Compromise fine, don’t give up you for him. If he can’t see that or feels marginalized by you that is his issue. CHin up and face the day knowing that when you do something for your heart regardless of what it is, you are doing your best. Hugs.
We are here. whatever you need x
Lana, First I am so glad you are back and then I want to say how sorry I am that you are hurting. I hate ultimatums and will get my French/Irish temper riled up in a hurry so that doesn’t work real well with me. I made sure to get the full series of Girls Best Friend(s) and I’m also trying to get all of the KU books that I read, which aren’t too many because I usually purchased my Angel’s books. Just know we will always be here to listen and it doesn’t matter how long your blog entries are as long as we know you are okay. So excited that the group here is growing and looking forward to seeing what comes next for all of us. Love and hugs,
Ramona
Lana, we are sorry to hear you’ve been dealing with personal stuff but this group is here for each other. You have to be true to yourself — if you aren’t you will regret it down the road. I am sure it is a hard decision to make, especially if you and the Mr. have been together for any length of time. Just know we’re hear for you as a sounding board and we’ll always be honest with you like we are for Alexis. She may not want to hear what we have to say sometimes but it helps her make a well rounded decision.
BIG HUGS ? ??
I am sorry you are dealing with this! My daughter(not really mine but helped her mom raise her) is dealing with something similar. She has been engaged for 2 years. They had everything chosen for the wedding and set to marry next August. Her bio dad was recently diagnosed with Leukemia. She came back from Florida to help him out and her fiance kept getting her crap about not working or getting a career. Hello she is working around the clock taking care of her dad. Anyway long story short he ended their relationship. Just like her, you need someone who will support what you want just like you tried to support what he wanted! You will find your way and we are all here for you!
Lana, always remember your Angel family has your back on whatever you decide.
Lana,
Congratulations on putting yourself first. Too many women don’t and become bitter, disillusioned, and lost. Your Ex is showing red flag behavior: moving you from your support system; meddling in your career; forcing you to isolate from your friends and colleagues; and demanding you satisfy his needs while ignoring yours; these are all classic abusive behaviors. While he hasn’t physically abused you (I assume) he is applying mental, emotional, and financial pressure to make you totally dependent on HIM rather than yourself. Naughty Angels is about women empowering themselves not kowtowing to any man or being less than in order to secure his comfort. You are so much better and worth more than that. NO MAN is worth losing yourself. We Angels have your back.
Lana,
I agree with Dawn. This isnât a decision to be made lightly, but donât allow Ex to make your decisions for you! Take your life in your own hands and enjoy the hell out of it, you only live once after all!
Well said!! I donât know why but I didnât get notification of this blog post or the one just before it so Iâm a lil late to the party, sorry. BUT. Iâm a firm believer in what you said just here… my feeling is, if someone realllly loves you and you have a healthy relationship, they support your hopes and dreams…they donât give ugly ultimatums… maybe Alexis and he didnât get along too well because Alexis could see in him something you didnât at the time.. bffs usually can see when/where/how things go wonky as they are on the outside of your relationship looking in… I dunno just my opinion. I know for myself I would be miserable in a relationship where my other half told me what I could and couldnât do, who I could be friends with and who I couldnât, etc.
I canât remember, are there kids involved? Even if there are, Iâm not one who believes staying in a relationship JUST because there are kids involved… that never works and the kids always know.
Anyway. Sorry to hear youâre going throug this. But no matter what happens you WILL survive!
And you are very well loved! ? ? â¤ď¸ âĽď¸ ?
BIG HUGS Lana!!!!
Lana I just want to give you a big hug! I know how hard it is. My husband and I are having issues now and I often feel like I have no one. You have my ear if you need to talk. Love you girl!
You deserve to be happy first and foremost. Your partner is suppose to help you and support you not hold you back. You are very talented author and a great person. Let your light shine. If you are meant to be together then he should be proud to call you friend, lover, partner, wife and author. It shouldnt be an either or situation. Sending hugs!
I’m so very sorry Lana. I sure am so very hopeful that absolutely everything works out for you! đ
I am so sorry for what you are going through but glad you are putting yourself first. You deserve to do your thing and have your friends. Hoping for the best for you.
Big hugs Lana!????
You do what is right for you. We have your back xx
So, sorry. Know it’s hard, been there done it. Like the others if it’s meant to be & Ex can take u for the REAL woman u r then it may come back. U know the saying “If u love someone u have to let them go”. U will know in awhile if u made the right call. Keep them big girl panties on. U WILL make it through the fire. And if not it’s his lost. Stay strong. We r always here for u. ??????
I got the series, thanks for writing it!
Give your situation time and follow your heart.
It might not hurt to go on some âdatesâ with ex and see if you can still be friends and âsparkâ but you have to be true to yourself.
In a marriage, COMMUNICATION is very, very important (Itâs right up there with sex). I have been with my husband since I was 14yrs old, Iâm now 50. He thought that as long as he was supporting me financially everything was fine. I had to sit him down and EXPLAIN to him that as much as I love and appreciate him for his financial support, I needed more. Our husbands are not mind readers and many times they donât have a clue what we need. You and Mr. Lana need to talk(maybe even with a professional) and come up with a COMPROMISE that is good for you both. Wishing you the very best! So glad youâre back?
Lana, Iâm very sad to hear of your personal/marital struggle. It truly breaks my heart. I will not provide you with any advice because your marriage is your business and only you know how and what works. However, I pray you will both find the clarity and peace you need to make the best decision for you both. Sending you hugs and positive energy. Iâm confident you will figure it out. You have a large group of women/fans who support you.
So sorry to hear whatâs been happening. Been there & done that. For 28yrs I was wife & mother of 2. He wasnât happy when our 1st arrived 14mos after we married. Then when our son was born with health issues it was my fault. I supported him through his BA then finally went to school myself. Sadly for over 10yrs he had panic attacks, couldnât be around people, travel over 30 miles from home etc but I stayed. We (I) tried counseling but after 3-4 sessions he wasnât interested. After about 25yrs I was ill & was confined to a walker for about 3 more years. He walked out suddenly one night & never came back. A year later I received divorce papers. Honestly I was shocked, not sure why. Funny he couldnât deal with my health yet I dealt with his! After a few months I started feeling better & slowly able to walk again. It took a year or 2 to be fine but 10 days after our 30th anniversary (it was one day before my 50th birthday) the divorce went through. Funny I got better & better as most of the stress was gone. I held it in and honestly it almost killed me. Turns out when he walked out at 28yrs he had the new Mrs all lined up & had been with her for over a year. They married one year after the divorce. Please donât make the same mistakes. Watch out & do for yourself. As many before me have said: Life is too short. Try to talk but I must agree ultimatums arenât the healthy way to go about having a loving partnership. Best wishes! (So sorry this was so long)
Lana, we’ve all missed you so much. I’m so glad you’re back with us and Alexis. I’m so sorry to hear about your marriage troubles but we’ve got you girl. Love you
Dear Lana
I am so sorry to hear of your break up! Do hope you can come up with a compromise with Ex because from your newsletters (prior to you & Alexis vanishing from my inbox!) you had such a great & passionate relationship. Hope he comes to his senses! Whatever you decide we will all still love you.
Big hugs!
Lana, it is great to hear from you. I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time but take your time in making this life changing decision. Pray about it and when your mind and heart are confident with your decision then follow your heart and be happy forever.
Lana, I’m going through something similar except I am separated from my husband by death. He passed away on Thanksgiving day at the age of 44. I’m glad that you are putting yourself first. A support system is very important and we are here for you! Hugs and kisses!!!!
Lots of love being sent your way. I’ve got to say I’m in agreement with Dawn as I was reading the different replies. I’d be VERY cautious of a man who exhibits those behaviors. I personally know 2 women who have dealt with a controlling husband and in the beginning it was everything you described then some years later and children,one went the way of verbal abuse and the other both verbal and physical. Regardless of your decision I’d keep your eyes wide open when dealing with him. You may want to consider anonymously contacting a women’s help group who’ve seen this before, they are probably better informed and can tell you if he’s exhibiting dangerous signs
So Sorry for your loss.
Lana,
Sorry to hear that you and your hubby are separated. For some reason, I guess because they don’t totally understand, men usually are jealous of the relationship we have with our best friend. Just hang in there and try to do what will make you happy.
Lana, so glad you are back!!!!! I am truly sorry to hear about you and your husband. Men donât understand how we need our friends. We need dimension in our lives. Doesnât mean we donât need them either, they just donât get it.. Be who you are meant to be, hopefully all Will work out. Love ya girl.????xoxo, we have your back!!!
Sorry to hear about your marriage troubles. Just keep writing the great books you write by yourself and with Alexis. Did you mention that Mr. Lana Angel writes books also? If so, did he write science fiction books? What is his problem then about you being friends with Alexis. It sounds to me that Alexis and you bring out the best in each other. He should appreciate it in my opinion. Family and friends will always have your back when problems arise.
I agree with Margaret. I seem to recall how much you two seemed to love each other. I can understand how things can sour and I am glad you are putting yourself first. However, if the love is there, it will be there after all is said and done. Be true to yourself. All will work out. In the meantime, so glad to have your back where you belong!
Check messenger Lana!
I will!
Youâve received plenty of advice, so hereâs a hug ????. So happy youâre both back!
Lana so glad you are back. Marriage can be tough at times but when you love someone you want to support them. I wish you the best and you know we all support you.
A Big Hug Lana. I think that all of your thinking and getting away showed you what YOU need to be happy. Iâm sorry the Ex is not as on board with your plan. Maybe there are plans of his own that he is struggling with too, itâs too hard to read minds. Stay true to yourself, make the decisions you need to make, support those you love, allow those around to support you and above all else make sure at the end of the day you can say, âThank you for this day and I am happy with myselfâ. Focusing on you is OK. Many Good Wishes.
Just had a chance to read your blog. Hugs, Kisses, and Hugs again to welcome you back. Do what makes you feel happy. Don’t lose yourself in someone else’s dreams. You deserve to be happy in this lifetime. You only have one life.
Big HUGS! Just remember we’ve got your back, regardless. YOU ARE LOVED!!!
Late to the party, but I agree with Dawn. As soon as I read your post my spidey senses were saying “isolation from multiple friends is a sign of a potentially abusive or soon to be abusive relationship” not to mention moving you from the in person support system you would have in the city – its one thing to make a move based on a decision that you’ve both wanted and have discussed over time- another when you feel guilted or forced to. I wish I had some magic advice for you, but I will tell you what I think everyone should do. Know how you expect to be treated (not princess entitlement but in areas such as respect, support, criticism, two way communication, acts of caring, partnership etc)If you feel that it’s lacking significantly for while, discuss it- if you don’t feel comfortable or he is unreceptive then you will need to reevaluate. Be true to yourself. Hugs.
First of all I want to give you a hug
Second you can always fall back on your angels. We will always be there for you â¤
Hey Lana hope you see that with all the comments these angels really love you. Sending you all the love and hugs for what your going through. Ex sounds like a total controlling manipulative ass and you are better off without him. Trying to alienate you from everyone and bullying you to do what he wanted. He deserves shoes thrown at his head, go Alexis!!!
You don’t need him Lana you got this girl xxx