You didn’t hear from me yesterday because I was hung over! That’s pretty much the long and short of it lol. Natalie was like telling me I should go to this party to go watch football but I just couldn’t do it. Because I was so hung over.
I mean that’s nothing new I guess. Oh look at Alexis – she was so hung over because she was drinking. I mean whatever right. But I think I had a real legitimate reason to. Because I mean after coming back to San Francisco and stewing about WineBar and IT Guy I basically sat and stewed for about a day or so. I mean I was so mad I tried to calm down and so I watched Netflix in my room for like hours and hours trying to forget. But everytime someone started to get in a relationship I was like ugh I can’t watch because I mean I know what’s going to happen. They’re going to get in a fight or break up and then the ex will become friends with all her old exes.
I mean WineBar and IT Guy making friends has got to be against some sort of dating rules right? Like Thou Shalt Not Be Friends With Others Who Have Lain With Your Ex.
It’s like a Dating Commandment I think.
Anyways so then after stewing Natalie is like hey you need to come out of your shell and go party. I’m like what I don’t want to party and she’s like no you need to get this out of your head. You are being all mopey and that’s not very Alexis Angel.
So I’ like okay whatever lets do it. So I take a shower and shave my legs and put on deodorant and then do my makeup and find something slutty to wear and Natalie is like okay we’re going to a….strip club.
And I’m like what? And this is how good a friend Natalie has become because she’s like yeah we’re just going to hang out with strong powerful women who just take money from men and the only men you see are going to be hustlers, ballers, or pathetic jerks who do whatever a girl says.
And I’m like okay I can get behind that so we go to North Beach and of course we’re girls so we actually get in without the cover charge.
Except this isn’t like a normal strip club experience. Imagine having a bunch of drinks and then these dancers coming around to see what the deal is with Natalie and I since we’re all dressed up and hanging out and they’re like uhmm do you want a dance?
And I’m like no, let me commiserate about how horrible my life is. My exes are now probably jerking each other off as they play video games. And then the first dancer is like whoa what. Wait let me get my friend she needs to hear this.
So by the end of the evening I’ve been drinking for free and like eight dancers are commiserating with me and dudes are coming up to us and being like uhm can I get a dance and they’re like sorry can’t right now we’re talking to Alexis.
So then the house mom comes and she’s like looking at me and Natalie and she’s like okay you guys got to leave because you’re distracting the dancers and taking up too much space for non paying customers.
So we got kicked out of a strip club.