I’ve done a lot of reading about dating during the pandemic. I mean the stuff where no one meets up and everyone’s on Facetime or Zoom, because I’m staying at home. There were a lot of experiences out there about people who are meeting new people.
What I didn’t see a lot of was people who had already met someone and kept dating them after the pandemic started. Which is what is happening with Aiden and I.
Now, at first, I thought continuing our relationship was going to be … overly focused on sex. And, haha, Alexis does like to joke a lot about how Aiden and I are “heavy sweating and long distance petting” but when lockdown became a thing that wasn’t just two weeks… Aiden asked me something that really blew my mind.
He asked me if I wanted to skip over having phone/facetime/text sexytimes. Basically if I wanted to keep our conversations from devolving into lust every time because that’s something I think we were both afraid of. In fact, when we started writing together… it became impossible to separate the lusty good writing feelings and our feelings and it was really intense. I felt like I was in some kind of high, like drugs or something, and I was afraid that it would all crash and burn.
You can tell I’m divorced reading that, right?
Like I have something good and I’m afraid it will fall apart.
Aiden expressed his concerns, similar to mine, but coming from a different place.
He told me how he hasn’t had any really serious relationships except what we have. And while it becomes really easy to focus on being horny, he doesn’t just want to grow horny together, he wants to grow old together.
Strong words from a man who hasn’t committed!
I was taken aback. No sexy pictures? No flirty camera angles? And no finishing off together what our conversations might lead to?
It was really wild.
Like, I couldn’t have been more shocked.
And to be honest, a part of me also worried… how will I stand this 40 days and 40 nights sex drama? I have a high sex drive and I masturbate a lot. How else would anything ever get written without special breaks.
But it wasn’t about us not being sexual. It wasn’t about us not being attracted to each other.
It was about taking 30 days of not focusing on sex and keeping our relationship going. We got past the thirty days we thought was fair and then it wasn’t like… insta hop into the virtual sack. We flirted, he romanced me. When went on several “zoom dates” (we like to watch a movie together, play a game, or go through a list of questions. We have a few games where we try to guess what the other person might say or things like that) and we’d both eat together even though we couldn’t go out.
And we were allowed to indulge in sexytimes again. But we took it slow. And it seemed… just mindbending.
We both agreed we felt pretty close.
But let’s be real.
Not flirting with each other.
Not being physically around each other?
I think we’re going a little insane quaran-dating.
But that’s just what we’re doing for now.
I know everyone was dying to know what was up with Aiden and I. I don’t even know if this was really boring or what???? It took me so long to write because I want to be honest. I wanted to share what was really happening with us.
And there’s a lot of good.
But it’s so lonely.
As I said before, I’m divorced. My ex-husband is former military. We went through a deployment. I thought I would be more prepared for this.
But there’s a lot of differences… like neither of us in harm’s way. We are very blessed to be able to work from home and use things like DoorDash and Instacart to make sure we don’t really have to leave the house.
There’s no end date to our separation just yet. It came on unexpectedly, and we have no clue when it will end. Neither of us is eligible to be vaccinated anytime soon so it’s just zoom, zoom, zoom (or facetime, depends on whether my laptop or phone has a better charge to be honest).
And it isn’t something just we’re going through. It’s something much of the world is going through.
I keep telling Alexis I am ready for some “precedented” times. Because we seem to have a lot of unprecedented shit going on and it is a lot to take.
I’m happy and I’m in a relationship. I have a boyfriend. He’s long-distance… even though he moved to Bay Area before all this happened. It used to be really easy to see him because he LIVES IN THE SAME METRO AREA but that’s long distance now.
I know I have it much easier than so many people. I really do. So I hate to sound like I’m complaining.
I am very, very fortunate.
But I also wanted to share with my Angels.
Tell me how you’re doing, please!
Are you quaran-dating? Cooped up with your spouse?
Don’t laugh babes but I am… feeling pretty baby crazy. I mean I want to do the whole nasty sex thing with Aiden, sure, but I was hoping we’d get to move forward in some stages of our lives and I really would like to know when that might be realistic. Also haha we have talked about it some but I didn’t want to bust that level of hormonal angst onto my boyfriend too fast.
I guess Facetime is good birth control though? Things aren’t happening too fast! But I want them to happen eventually!!!!
I need 40 more exclamation marks to cope with this stuck at home-ness!!!!!!!
Tell me how you’re doing!!!!
This key is my only release now haha!!!!
But seriously, I hope you’re all safe. Thank you all so much for letting us tell you stories and keep you company during this crazy, crazy time.