Posted on 20 Comments

Wow what a morning!

Hey Angels!
I need a drink.
Not just because of the date last night.
But I mean that too.
If you look back, you’ll see one of the blog posts is missing. The one where I called WineBar on Thursday and told him hey I’m going on a date on Friday and he was like ok cool and I was all pissed off.
Anyways, that post is gone.
Also gone is the post that I had about Lana’s new series. Because I was like talking about Professor and our date and I was saying shit and then I was like but I’m not gonna go and say everything because I don’t wanna ruin Lana’s thunder because she just released the Dirty Brother series and Book 1 is free thats part of our featured deals.

Anyways so I even had a video. (See the video below)

So I wake up at 5 am this morning because I forgot to take the makeup off my face and I check the site and check my emails because I have 40,000 emails and I am responding to them and it doesn’t let me in.
So I’m like whats going on.
And it turns out that so many people had started to come on that the entire server had crashed!
Lets get this figured out. So many people wanted Lana’s Episode 1 that the server was like oh no I can’t handle. Also, I may have gotten the lowest level of server space because I didn’t know if anyone would wanna read our books at all.
But it turns out they do!
So ppl downloaded and the poor server was like help me.
So I call my internet provider and they’re like hmm we have to do this on Monday we can’t do it now.
And I’m sitting there in yesterday’s clothes because I passed out and I’m like what? And they’re like yeah we have an error we don’t know whats up and I’m like:

“Okay, hold on. I was banned from Amazon! I WILL NOT BE BANNED FROM THE INTERNET! You will escalate this!”

And like two hours later, the site was back, the server was upgraded and the only issue was the blog posts were gone from yesterday which was the last time we backed up the site.

Anyways, I owe you a story about Professor. Lets just say…remember Freeway? It’s kinda similar. But not quite.

Anyways, Sunday is when I will tell! Right now I need to go relax!~

Check out Lana’s series! Episode 1 is FREE

And check out the trailer I had made for her!

Posted on 9 Comments

So Lana Has Been Busy…

Hey Angels! I’m getting ready for my date today. Here is my schedule:

9 am to 11 am – Gym on the stairmaster to do last minute exercises to make my ass look good
11:30 – 12:30 – Shower and get to the nail salon so I can get my nails done
12:30 – 1:45 – Lunch
2 – 4 – Get hair done and go to Neiman
4 – 6 – Find a cute black dress for tomorrow
6 – 10 – Write the next Mona Book

Ya I feel good. I’m feeling really good. I’m going to rock Professor’s socks off during our date. It’s gonna be fun to go out into the world again!

Meanwhile, Lana has been a busy bee. We have a NEW RELEASE! It’s called Stolen. And it’s $1.99 for the next 2 days! Also, for the next two days is a coupon code that lets you buy the whole series for 25% off! Use DARKANGEL when buying The Virgin Market, Gambling For the Virgin, Buyer’s Market, or Murder/Love!

Go to the Featured Deals page!!!

Lana is so excited! I am so excited! I love my life! I love you all!!!

Oh, what you think of my schedule, Angels?

Posted on 64 Comments

Yeah I’m gonna go on that date

So first off thanks Angels for all your words of advice yesterday.
I called WineBar last night to be like hey this dude asked me out on a date and I wanted to see if you were set on what we decided – that we don’t know and we’ll decide when you get back.

WineBar picks up the phone when I FaceTime him and he’s talking to me and we’re going back and forth and then guess what I see?
I see a shadow behind him!
Not just any shadow!
The shadow of a woman.

I swear. That fucking skank. Some dark black haired chick who seems to be putting on earrings. Totally unconcerned that she’s walked into the view of his camera. He has no idea that she’s behind him but she’s like looking at the phone and my face and looking out of curiousity. Like who is this bitch talking to my man. Oh the height of irony. She’s thinking who is my man talking to.

Uhmm…no. I didn’t even ask him about Professor. I just was friendly. We talked another minute and then I hung up. And poured myself a glass of scotch. Ew. But I needed a drink.

I am gonna get dolled up. Do my hair. Do my makeup. Buy La Perla. Get my nails done. Get a nice dress.

And I’m going out.

Beware world. Alexis Angel is back. And she’s out for blood.

In honor of that, I want ALLLL the men in the world. That’s why today, Sevensome is up for sale! This book got booted off Amazon. But for the next 24 hours, if you buy it, you get 7 other books for 25% off. That’s like getting 4 books for the price of 7 I think! You don’t wanna miss it.

And the world has missed me for long enough. I’m fucking back. Bitches won’t know how to act.

Posted on 44 Comments

Soooo….I need your advice!

Alright angels!

The other day I did the press conference about WineBar and then I was like oh no karma is gonna bite me in the ass for writing this and guess what?

It did. lol I swear karma fucking hates me.

Guess what happened to me. I was hanging out at the Bourbon & Branch in San Francisco and I actually brought my laptop with me so I could do stuff in the store. And then all of a sudden I hear “Are you a developer?” from a voice behind me.

And I look back and its this dude. He’s holding an old fashioned and he’s got a smirk. I’m like whoa. “No, I’m actually an author.”

“An author who does websites?” he asks me.

“I sell direct to my readers,” I said.

“Are you any good?” he asks.

“I’m a USA Today Bestselling author and I’ve hit the Amazon Top 100 like 200 times,” I said to him. He’s like whoa.

“That’s impressive,” he says to me and I’m like ooooh its been so long since someone has been impressed with me.

“What do you do?” I asked.

“I’m a professor,” he says to me. “I teach poli sci over at UC Berkeley.”

So I raised my eyebrows at him because he looks like 32 and I’m like you’re a professor and he’s like yeah I’m an adjunct. I did my PhD at Harvard. And I’m like wow ok. He also does some consulting for some political campaigns. Anyways, he ends with, “I have some friends over there that I got to get to but have a drink with me at the Top of the Mark this Friday.”

I’m like oh. my. god. Someone just asked me out.

“Here’s my number. Call me,” he says, “I can’t wait to have dinner with a USA Today Bestselling author”

And I’m like sitting there speechless as this totally handsome 30 something year old who looks like he stepped out of a magazine walk away. And I’m like okay tomorrow morning I need to talk to the angels and see what to do. I’m thinking I should call WineBar and ask if its okay to go on this “date” but I dunno. I want to because he was so smooth and suave and WineBar has made it clear that we’re not a thing until we figure it out but I dunno babes. What do I do?

I was so not sure what to do that I went back and read Naughty Lil’ Angel. I also put it up on the store. It’s got a re-release special of $1.99 for the next 24 hours. You can grab it here or on the Featured Deals Page!! And please let me know what to do!

Posted on 17 Comments

The 7th Press Conference with Alexis Angel

The events of this press conference take place after the portion recorded in the newsletter. Go back and read that first if you haven’t already!!!!

Alexis: Okay, so at this point I’ll take questions about WineBar.
Larosa: Alexis! Where is WineBar?
Alexis: Right now he’s in New York City.
Kristie: Why aren’t you there?
Alexis: Well, I saw him in NYC maybe like three weeks ago. Sorry I had like a store to put together. It’s actually harder than I thought even if it was built for me.
Michelle: Alexis! Alexis! What is the romantic status of you and WineBar?
Alexis: If I were to answer this on Facebook, I’d select the “It’s Complicated” option.
(General whispering and murmuring)
Melissa: Alexis are you seeing other people?
Alexis: The last time we spoke which was in September, WineBar and I decided that we would see other people because I was unable to move back to New York City and he wasn’t able to come back to San Francisco. However we still care about each other.
(Loud commotion)
Gina: Alexis! Alexis!
Alexis: Yes, Gina. Go ahead
Gina: So you guys are seeing other people? You’ve moved on?
Alexis: No. WineBar is coming back to San Francisco for the holidays on December 20. We are going to decide our status then. But in the meantime he and I have decided that if love finds us elsewhere we won’t shut the door on it.
(Chaos breaks out)
Alexis: Please guys. One more question.
Leticia: Alexis! Pick me!
Alexis: Yes, Leticia.
Leticia: So what are the odds? What are the chances?
Alexis: You know, for a while I was really busy just trying to get back above water since Amazon shut my account down. I’d say that the chances of us getting back together, with everything he’s going through and everything I am are at a solid 50%.

(People getting up and shouting questions as security takes Alexis off the podium)

Posted on 10 Comments

So What Happened Next?

So Lana had just sat down when BakerMan came out.

Before I continue, let me talk a bit about BakerMan. See I knew this guy from back in the day when I was on Wall Street. He worked on the European equities desk and we used to banter back and forth. But all the time when we ever met each other at work he was always making googly eyes at me but he never ever did anything about it. I mean I had like every idea that he was way into me but he never ever fucking tried anything. Even one night when I was all drunk and all over him he was like trying to play it cool. So I was like okay this dude is trying to be a martyr.

But the problem? He always looked pained when I was with other dudes. Like gimme a break, if you want something go for it. Am I right?

Anyways, he lived in Paris and I was hanging out with him and Lana had just come over and sat down next to me.

And BakerMan is like “who are you?” to Lana and she’s like “who are you?”

Then she looks over at me and she’s like, “Babe…what happened to WineBar?”

And BakerMan looks at me and he’s like…”wait…who is WineBar?”

So…I may have not mentioned WineBar to my old friend. But I don’t think I did anything bad because its not like I was doing BakerMan. I knew he wanted to. When we went out dancing I could tell he was into me. But we didn’t do anything. Was I wrong??

Posted on 50 Comments

Where was I?

Oh ya, I was talking yesterday about Lana and how she surprised me in Paris.
I mean I thought I was drunk, but apparently I wasn’t.
Anyways, so Lana and I were talking and we were like wow what a run we had huh? And she was like you know we never got a chance to build a store.

I kind of laughed at this because I never really thought of myself as a shop keeper you know? But Lana was all like you know you would enjoy it a lot.
“Are you serious? Maintaining a storefront?”
And then Lana was like, “Alexis you’re an author that loves their readers. I’ve never seen anyone love their readers as much as you. You would love doing little games and sales and things that make peoples lives fun.”
That’s when BakerMan came back with the bread. Seriously, its like French people love eating fresh bread every day. Anyways, he’s like looking at Lana like who did you pick up while I was gone.
And Lana is looking at me like…girl, you got some ‘splaining to do.

Guess I do. Anyways, Lana was right. I LOVE having a store. That’s why I have these games every Friday coupled with a sale that I put together. Just go to the page here and you’ll get a chance to do it. Save your screenshot! Post your times below! The four lowest times get $5 giftcards! We’ll talk more about BakerMan and stuff later. I know Lana was talking about Mr. Lana Angel but in true fashion I’m just moving the convo back to me lol.

Hugs and kisses and lots of love!


Posted on 41 Comments

I’ve Missed You All!

So I’m getting myself out here and starting this blog post. Telling you all where I’ve been. I’ve written so many books, but this story is the hardest to tell somehow. Starting to answer emails and soon Facebook messages.

Thank you all for everything. It has helped so much.

I’m trying really hard to get the courage to explain just what happened…but it’s really difficult, Angels.

I’m okay.

I’m okay and I’m back.

Right now I’m focusing on writing a new book with Alexis. I’m so happy to be writing with her again. Seeing her in Paris? I kind of think that wasn’t just coincidence. I think it was fate. It was the universe bringing us back to each other when we were admittedly both in need of some healing.

Thank you all for your messages and for being there for us. We’re here for you Angels and we’re going to keep telling you stories.

I promise I’m trying to tell you mine.

Posted on 21 Comments

Where In The World Is Lana Angel?

So when we put Hit & Run up for sale last night I got a whole bunch of emails from people saying shit like omg is Lana coming back too? And like I mentioned earlier in my newsletter yeah for a while there Lana was like okay Alexis I’m going to branch out and do some more dark stuff and I totally got that, you know?

But what do they say about bad habits? They always come back. But haha Lana isn’t the bad habit – I am!

No I’m serious babe. Like Lana is like a hard worker and I’m like omg I’m going to drink this bottle of wine and watch the real housewives of orange county and all of a sudden I’ve missed the deadline for my chapters and Lana is like where are they here are mine and I’m like okay I sent it. But then she’s like I don’t see it so I’m like uhmm maybe your email is all fucked up babe have you called google?

Anyways, when I said bad habits are bad, 1) I was joking and 2) I wanted to say that while I was in Europe and wondering what to even do with everything, guess who pops back in? Seriously I was in Paris and all of a sudden someone sits down next to me. And I look over and it’s Lana.

And I’m like whoa baby I must be really drunk already. But that didn’t make any sense because it was only like 10:30 am over there and I mean I’ve been drunk that early before (tailgate parties in college anyone? I mean one time I got so drunk I was doing this kegstand and I forgot I wasn’t wearing panties under this skirt I had on and that was slightly awkward.) Anyways so Lana sits down and I’m like looking at her like whoa what are you doing here. This after I pinched her a couple times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I know I know I’m supposed to pinch myself but I mean it was easier to just pinch her.

Anyways, she started to talk and tomorrow I’m gonna talk about that because the convo with Lana deserves its full story. Anyways, ttyl babe. Oh, if you haven’t yet, check out the book Hit & Run that Lana and I wrote that you can get on the book page.

Anyways, talk soon babes. I have like 11,000 emails to start to go answer and then I gotta write this book with Lana.

Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,


Posted on 55 Comments

Dirty Lil’ Angel

So Dirty Lil Angel is actually going to be the sequel to Winebar which was the sequel to Naughty Lil’ Angel. It’s not up on the store yet but will be soon, probably in the next few days. It’s basically going to pick up from where Winebar left off because babe there was a lot of stuff that happened. Also Dirty Lil’ Angel is going to take place in several countries and going to be amazing.

Also, I’m thinking of writing a menage. It’s probably going to be called Big Licker lol. I have an idea in my head as to what this all is going to be about so we’ll see.

But right now, I’m doing a giveaway from the blog tomorrow. I just need to think of one. I’ll announce it tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Oh, yeah I know you’re waiting to hear about everything I’ve been up to. I’m going to get to it…I promise!