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Ok, the gym is amazing!

Lol that’s not what you normally say and I don’t say it either.
But I had new athleisure wear yesterday with new yoga pants form Lululemon that made me look super delicioso.

Too bad I was super fucking hungover.

Anyways so after I sent my email I went to the gym. I was hung over from going out with sorority sisters and drinking cosmos and apparently not increasing my server size. Anyways, so you ever been to the gym, or anywhere really and you get the vibe that someone somewhere is staring either at your ass or legs? Or your whole body?

Well I’m doing reverse leglifts on a machine because like I want to keep a super tight butt and I see two dudes staring at me near the free weights section.

Now I can do two things: 1. I can get all upset

Or

2. I can get all tingly.

Guess which one I ended up getting?

Yeah, I did reverse leg lifts till my leg couldn’t do any more and then I switched over. My black yoga pants were super sexy and I’m like okay this is working because the two dudes are like just standing there and I’m like so flattered omg. I’m on cloud nine because this is insane. They aren’t bad looking guys either. Broad shoulders and cut and clean cut and looking like they work for J. Crew.

So I do the other leg and I’m like okay are they just gonna stare.

And one of them comes up and is like, “Do you need a spotter?”

DING DING DING!

Yes, please spot me.

And I turn around after getting off the machine and I’m like…”I need two spotters”

Then I wink and nod.

And I’m gonna tell the rest of the story tomorrow because I gotta clean the apartment before Lana gets here. I have panties all over. In the most random of places! Like yesterday I found a pair of La Perla in the oven.

What the fuck.

Oh babes! We have so many books coming into the store. We had two books come in from Lana. We had a bunch of books come from Daphne. We’re getting new authors. Building momentum. Lana and I did an interview with Daphne that Lana is publishing tomorrow too!

Check out Featured Deals too. Some good deals.

Okay, love you lots and yes, I have stories to tell. I’ll try to come in tomorrow morning (Thurs) once I wake up and after the gym to finish the story. It’s shiver worthy!

Posted on 6 Comments

Ok so I might be too popular for my own good…

And no, I don’t mean dudes. Or the Dude. Or whatever.

I mean the most important thing. With you angels.

You wanna know what happened when I sent out the notice that I had released a book as straight Alexis Angel?

So many people clicked the book link on the newsletter that the server was like OMG this is an attack! Shut down and protect yourself and all the information! And the server basically shut the fuck down.

So I got on the phone with server people that run the internets and they’re like yeah you have too many people coming to your site and the server shut down.

Basically my book broke my store lol. That feels so fucking amazing babes. Like Lana did that with Dirty Brother and I was like oh my god that’s amazing but now I did it.

So I guess we have to upgrade the server. Again. Which we’re doing tonight. I went out with some sorority sisters and we had some drinks and now I’m home (no guy, I need to clean my apartment before Lana moves in in a few days) and I’m gonna call and upgrade the server.

Altho I’m sorta drunk so maybe we won’t have a store left by the time I’m done lol. I’m just kidding I swear I only had five cosmos.

Anyways, I know I’m not drunk because when I am I usually write dirty sex or have dirty sex or do something slutty. Anyways, right now I’m in fluffy PJs and with my computer so I don’t think there’s anything slutty about that.

But the server, right? Like how crazy is that.

I know a lot of people clicked and couldn’t get to the site so I’m gonna make amends for that. And I’m gonna do it like this:

Use coupon code: SERVER

And get the following books for 99 cents!!!

Those books are:

Man Chaser
Cunning Linguist
DILF
Blessed

That’s $12 dollars worth of books for $3.96

That’s like a 67% discount if you get all four. And of course any other promotions that are going on apply!!!

Tomorrow I’m gonna finally talk about the Dude and IT Guy and the time we spent together. I think it’s gonna be pretty interesting.

I’m also gonna be working on the server and flirting with tech support from my hosting company. It’s hilarious because I do it on chat and I say sexy things and they’re like uhm what lol. anyways, that’s what happens with cosmos I guess.

Ok angels lets put this server to the test lol

Oh more surprises coming. A new author is coming to the store!

Posted on 9 Comments

Alexis will be more responsible…

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Yeah. It’s true. Alexis and I are moving in together.

The truth is that I’m really looking forward to it.

Guess whose going to have someone chasing them around to finish their chapters? Alexis. And I’ll chase her to finish. No more.

Also, here’s something you didn’t know maybe. Alexis cooks really well – she just never does it. I also bake well, so that’s great.

But biggest thing I think is that this store. Alexis is great but she doesn’t understand the technical stuff as much as she thinks she does. So earlier today, we had a new release. It was Stuff Me, Stepbrother Episode One. Anyways, so many people clicked on the link that the whole store crashed. Now there is a way with CDN and site optimization that we can fix this – but we need another server upgrade. The people at the server hosting place were astounded. They said that a thousand people had tried to access the site in the first five minutes of the initial campaign and the server – to protect itself and all the data it manages – shut itself down to make sure it was all kosher.

Anyways, I’ve been telling Alexis to upgrade the server and optimize the site so I’m looking forward to doing this with her when I move in. I know it sounds boring, but the fact of the matter is that we are almost too popular for the infrastructure we’ve got. Too many people are coming to the site and it’s starting to buckle. This can’t keep happening.

 

 

This is the cover that broke our site. I’m pretty sure I know why 😉

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Posted on 10 Comments

New Roommate?

So Angels guess what?

You guys sent so many well wishes and comments to Lana about being an angel that we went out this evening and this is what the convo kinda went like:

Lana: Shouldn’t we be writing chapters for the next book?
Alexis: Babe let your hair down okay?
Lana: I can’t. We need to finish up these books we started
Alexis: Ya ya hey is that guy staring at me?
Lana: What guy?
Alexis: Turn around and look at him, but do it without turning around, okay?
Lana: WTF
Alexis: Anyways, so are you more comfortable now? You get that we never really broke up as a team right?
Lana: Yeah listen I’m sorry…but what guy? What happened to Technology Man?
Alexis: It’s IT Guy and he’s amazing and I might put out next time.
Lana: Already?
Alexis: Hello, I was trying to seduce him remember? Besides its gonna be Date number 3
Lana: Yeah, listen…what do you think now that Mr. Lana Angel and I are separated and my 4 month lease is expiring that I…
Alexis: Why don;t you move in? I have two bedrooms!!
Lana: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say
Alexis: Except I said it first! Hey that dude is staring at me
Lana: Let me look (turning around)
Alexis: OMG! You turned around
Lana: He’s not staring at you
(Dude walks over to our table)
Dude: Hello
Lana: (To Alexis) So what do you say?
Alexis: Yes
Dude: That’s a yes?

And that’s a whole new story I think.

Check out my new series on the Featured Deals page!!! My release. All me.

I’ve been working on this ALL BY MYSELF. NOT ME AND LANA! Finally I have my own release oh my god it feels so good. Oh man.

Posted on 49 Comments

Hey Angels! Sorry I’ve Been AWOL

Dear Angels,

Thank you so much for all the love and support. From all the emails and the comments I want you to know that I truly am loved. And yes, our little Angel family has gone through a lot and we stick together.

It’s just been rough for me the last few months.

As a few of you have guessed…Mr. Lana Angel and I are separated. It happened right about the time that Alexis and I decided to go our separate ways. That was basically the underlying reason. He wanted to move away from the city and then he felt that I was becoming too dependent on Alexis and writing all the time with her. That I needed to be my own person.

What I didn’t realize is that Alexis brings out the best in me. She makes me laugh and makes me cry and makes me think. So did Ex.

I tried it his way. I tried to please him. I really did.

But then my account got shut down at Amazon and my books started to get pulled and I wasn’t sure what to do.

I suggested to him that I reach out to Alexis. But he wouldn’t have it. See…I think Ex (who used to be Mr. Lana Angel) and Alexis never got along. Actually, truth be told, he was always a bit intimidated of Alexis I think. Not that he usually gets intimidated – but you know how Alexis is. She once told him he was an idiot and when he kept doing something wrong she threw her shoe at him. It wouldn’t have been a big deal except he was eating a cheeseburger and he almost choked to death when the heel hit him in the head.

So there wasn’t any love lost between them. And he wanted me separate from her. But not just her. All of our author friends we’d made along the way.

I know Alexis told you guys about Daphne and Nat coming on board, but we made so many other friends and he wanted me to just write on my own. And then cook dinner and be a wife.

But I know I can do so much more.

We fought until he agreed that I could go to Paris. And then it took one whole day talking with Alexis making plans and I realized where I was missing things.

Alexis is silly. She’s got the temperament of a 12 year old. She’s vain (it’s true). She’s flighty. But she’s my best friend. And she’ll walk over fire to make sure I’m okay. I was missing that.

Anyways, putting my career first and my life first made him give me an ultimatum. Choose him or my life that I had always wanted.

I haven’t decided yet. But we are separated. And that’s what I’m dealing with.

Anyways this has gone on for a long post but I wanna share something with you guys to just say thank you.

Now we had a whole bunch of downloads and buys for our newest series that came out but Alexis is off on a date with…is it Tech Guy? IT Man? I forget whatever she calls him but he got home early and she hadn’t put the Featured Deal. So I did. As a founding member of the store, I’m putting it at more than 50% off for everyone who works on a budget. For the next 3 days, go ahead and grab it. Once it becomes a Featured Deal it stays so it’s my way of saying thanks to all you Angels.

Love you all

Lana

Posted on 6 Comments

The First of Many Surprises

So remember when I was talking about hey Lana and I have a surprise for you?
Well I didn’t forget.

Several weeks ago I approached a dear friend of mine. I’ve collaborated with her on some books and so has Lana.

A lot of back and forth later, I’m pleased to introduce bestselling authoresses Daphne Dawn and Natalie Knight entering the Naughty Angel Publishing fold. They’ll be featuring their books exclusively on our site. In the future they’ll go wide, but we’ll do it together as a team.

Daphne and Natalie have started with The Billionaire Hangover series and will over the course of the next few weeks start uploading more books for your enjoyment as well as writing new books as well.

Check out the Buy Books page!

I’m excited! You should be too! More surprises are coming!

Check out the Buy Books page.

Yay!

Posted on 30 Comments

I’m back (from Thanksgiving!)

So I flew back this afternoon. We were at my aunt’s house this year and so it was a fun trip back to California. While I was on Thanksgiving break with my parents Lana and I worked on Girls Best Friend, which is an MMF series that’s on sale today (first book is FREE) look under Featured Deals.

Anyways, I talked to Lana over the phone a lot. She’s going through some things that she mentioned but I can tell that she’s having a rough time.

I mean this girl is my best friend, you know? We were colleagues before but I love her like a sister now and we do so much together. But I was talking to her and I was like you know I go through so much in my life and the Angels are really amazing in terms of giving support and advice. And sometimes I act dumb and stupid but the angels are always there to be like okay stop acting like an idiot or what the fuck is wrong with you lol.

But Lana is like I dunno. I dunno if the Angels want to hear my problems and aren’t they your angels why would they wanna hear from me and to that I was like oh geez woman you write all these books and you write a bunch with me and there would be no Alexis Angel without a Lana Angel and come on are you serious?

Are you with me, Angels? Like Lana can write with me but she can’t go through whats bothering her because she thinks no one wants to hear about it. I mean I asked her too I was like listen are you like uncomfortable in talking about stuff with the angels and she was like no not at all. They are the most supportive and amazing group of women that have been assembled. We also waxed nostalgic about Dirty Lil’ Angels before Facebook zapped the group and killed it. I have no idea how that happnened but I was like hey you were pretty active in DLA and she was like yeah I loved it in there and I was like okay hmmm so if you talked to Angels back then why can’t you talk to them now and she was like okay, if you think they wouldn’t mind.

I mean listen babes, I have stories to tell about my flight from California to my aunt’s house in Texas with Airplane (that’s the guys name) and nothing yet from IT Guy because he’s on Thanksgiving break to his mom’s house in Los Angeles but I also think it’s important to take time to talk about Lana. So I’m gonna keep convincing her that if she has no problem talking about the rough time she’s going through with Angels, she should post because the ladies on here are lovely amazing super duper people who aren’t going to be like ho hum I’m bored and don’t wanna hear your problems.

Anyways, I told Lana that angels are amazing. And she was like okay but I’m busy with Girls Best Friend(s) and now that it’s published she has no excuse.

Speaking of which…first book is free!!! It’s a 6 episode series. Go to Featured Deals to check it out!

I think IT Guy comes back Sunday night. I’ll check in with you before then for sure. Talk soon Angels.

Posted on 21 Comments

Oh. My. God.

So yesterday was my date with IT Guy. He was super fucking respectful when I was trying to hit on him and I found out it was because he thought I was still together with WineBar.
So I was like okay if he was that respectful it’s going to be a low maintenance date. I don’t really need to do much to prepare. Just go as is. We’ll probably go somewhere quiet and have a conversation and maybe he’ll hold my hand and that’s the farthest he’s gonna go because he might be a bit mild mannered.

Fuck. Was I wrong.

Angels, I’m just now getting the strength to sit up in my chair.

So, I decided to wear something pretty. I actually didn’t get my hair done but I straightened it and I did my makeup.

And I met him at Bourbon & Branch.

“You wanna drink?” he asked me and I happily nodded my head. We got some really strong drinks and I’m like meh I’m out having a good time. We talked and talked and talked and talked and each time I ordered another drink.

Dinner was somewhere fun. We went to Sens and had more cocktails. I’m like okay I’m drinking so I’m gonna load up on carbs so I had the potato gnocchi and I’m scarfing it down but we share a bottle of wine and then we go to get more drinks at this bar. Somewhere along the way in the back of the Uber I’m making out with him and my hands are in his pants and when we get to the bar he’s like a perfect gentleman and he’s helping me.

We meet some of his friends and they order bottle service. It’s vodka. So I’m drinking now and I’m dancing and we’re dancing together all of a sudden. I’m grinding against him and we’re getting pretty heated and he’s feeling me up.

We go outside for a walk because I’m sweating and we make out some more.

It’s 2 am and we all decide to go to his friends house in Russian Hill and more booze is had by everyone. I’m drunk. I’m giggling into IT Guy’s neck and I’m clinging onto him. The world is spinning but then we eat Carl’s Jr because I am so drunk and I eat half a burger and I’m stuffed. Then for some reason I help IT Guy eat his burger too even though my burger is sitting right there and it was the same one. Whatever.

“I’m just gonna make sure you’re alright,” he tells me afterwards at my door. I’m dragging him to my bed but he doesn’t get in.

“Take off your clothes,” I tell him all super tipsy and he’s like “I’m not gonna fuck you for the first time when you’re wasted, Alexis.”

And I’m like awwww.

But my hand eye coordination is like shot to hell and I’m like okay then unzip me.

Then I’m like “take off my bra, it’s hard.”

That’s the extent to my ability to seduce. I don’t think he even got a look because I plopped onto the bed.

“Come here,” I say to him and he kisses me and it’s so nice and then he gets up.

“I’ll check on you tomorrow,” he tells me and I’m like whoa he just passed up sloppy drunk sex and then I pass out as soon as he goes out the front door.

I must have passed out at like 6 am. I woke up at 5 pm. I wasn’t human till like just recently.

Poor Lana. We were supposed to write chapters today. She did hers but now I’m behind.

IT Guy called twice but I was dead to the world apparently. I’ll see him tomorrow when I’m back to normal. We’re supposed to have lunch.

But whew. Talk about a whirlwind huh?

Posted on 6 Comments

My Face Was So Red!

Anyways, so I was sitting next to this really cute dude who was working on my website and Professor had just talked about licking my feet.
And IT Guy looks over.
Finally he notices me!

I am so embarrassed so I quickly get up and go to the other room where I’m like hey no big deal. Professor is like hey maybe we can hang out again sometime. This time we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’m like ya ya that’s cool because I have another guy in the other room! WTF.

And then I go back outside, quickly dispatching with the phone call with Professor to talk to cute IT Guy who is now eyeing me up and down. Now he notices me! All I needed was a phone call?

Anyways I feel like such a player, having two guys and all. It’s fantastic. The power is going to my head.

“Sorry about that,” I tell him.
“Hey, that’s fine by me,” he says, not passing any judgment. He’s actually quite smooth when he wants to be.
“So are we good with the website?”
He gives me a list of things I need to do. Like I need to compress some images and stuff that’s what I have to do when I’m not writing because I’m putting together a doozie of a story for you it’ll be releasing soon called Girls Best Friend(s)

Anyways, so the guy is like “So are you dating again?”

And then it strikes me!

Of course he’s been staying away with his eyes!

This guy thinks I’m taken by WineBar. I mean he lives down the hall. He’s heard me at least talk about him to friends. Has he seen him? I can’t recall at this point because my mind is going a million miles a minute.

He was trying to be respectful and not make a move on a taken woman. Awww. I love that in a man. Sort of.

So he must have had a bad idea about me. Thinking I was throwing myself at him when I was another man’s property you know?

Anyways so I’m like oh yeah I’m single again and that was a interesting date I was on on Friday.

So he’s like “Well if you’re single, then we should go out to dinner sometime”

And I’m like YES!

Although I was more like, “Yeah that would be fun.”

And guess when he’s picking me up?

Like in 4 hours or so.

Seriously it took me 5 days to tell the story I think but it was worth it. And a few other things happened this week I’ll have to recap over. I don’t know when I’ll do it but I’ll figure out a time. I’m not gonna send an email blast today since there’s also no new freebie or featured deal since the series is still live at discounted price on the featured deal site. The Sons Best Friend series is doing great and it’s a fantastic story. You will love it.

Ok gotta get ready for my date. Nothing major. I’m just gonna wear like jeans and stuff. Keep it casual. Or maybe I’ll dress up. I have no idea. But I’ll have fun. Because the first time I was all gung ho and this time I’m like ok I’m just gonna roll with it.

I’ll keep you updated!

Posted on 16 Comments

So there I am, just trying to be a seductress…

What else are you supposed to do on the day (or two) after a dude tries to lick your feet on a date? And you let him and end up kicking him on the face?
So I’m sitting there and (I’m summarizing over the computer talk, so it doesn’t bore you) he’s looking at me and he’s like, “yeah I have to do this and this and this,” and I’m like wearing these yoga pants that I had to lay down to get into and thinking ‘alright dude I know what you’re trying to do because I could do it if I really wanted’ but instead I’m trying to look interested and nodding my head.

Tell me more, Mr. Hot IT Guy. You wanna clear my cache? You wanna reboot my server? Why don’t you get on top of my server and insert your hard drive? Take my floppy drive for a ride that will take me to system failure for a while?

But I don’t say any of that. Instead I’m sitting there trying to smile. I think I even touch him on the arm a couple times. And….nothing.

That’s okay, I’m not daunted. Plan B.

I go over to the stack of books I have next to the table and bend over to pick them up. This should work. I’m wearing yoga pants. The ones that people got all upset about when they found out Lululemon was selling see through sheer yoga pants.

And…nothing. He’s super fucking interested in the screen. On my website. Not me.

I glance over. And he’s staring at the store page. Now you’ve seen the main store page I hope, Angels. There’s a lot of covers on there.

He’s staring at the cover for First Comes Love. And staring hard.

He’s staring at her ass! Not mine!

I’ve never been so jealous of one of my books in my life but at that moment I’m super jealous of the girl on the cover. Have you ever been jealous of the girl in a book? I mean, I get jealous of my characters, sure. But this is a primal sort of anger I’m feeling.

Okay, this can’t get any worse.

“I think your phone is ringing,” he tells me and I look over. It’s the Professor.
I come back and sit down.
I pick up.

Sometime the night before, I must have turned up the volume settings on my iphone because its super loud. You know when you’re sitting next to someone and you can hear what the person on the other side of the line is saying? That’s me.

“I’m sorry I weirded you out by trying to lick your feet!” is the first thing that Professor says.
And IT guy swivels his head and looks at me as I go red.

WTF.

Bet that chick on the cover of First Comes Love was never in a situation like this…

Wait till you hear what happens next!

Today, we have a new release!

Lana and I have just dropped a BRAND NEW SERIES on the store. It’s My Son’s Best Friend Series. Never before released on Amazon. You will love this story. I know sometimes I go a bit over the top, but Lana really held us together and made this a very believable story I think. It’s still fun. But its DIRTY. It’s so nasty in parts that I am just getting goosebumps thinking about it. The good kind of goosebumps.

Episode 1 is free. Check out Featured Deals or check out the main store!

Download the freebie. And see you tomorrow!