Ok babes first up, I wanna say I never intended the single joke to sound like something sooper epic had bombed in my life…other than what was already happening in my last blog post.
And uhmm I can barely catch my breath for the rest of the story.
Like ok I meant single like oooh like my box set and because I’m not married. Also because just after the talk vs. no talk fiasco I realized we aren’t really like ultra committed. We love each other. We love spending time with each other. But the universe…and the fact that SF isn’t really that big of a city I suppose…seems intent on reminding me of someone else…
So yeah I’m in the bathroom and Lana’s like, “Sister????”
“uhm yeah I mean I went to that cookout and met his family, no sister I met.”
“The nerve,” Lana says but there’s something in her voice. I can tell she thinks something else is going on but not so much the Winebar is lying again thing. And yeah I wanna believe that too but how could I be so sure?
It’s giving me this need to drink like the sugariest booze I can and not feel the rest of the night! I take a deep breath instead.
IT Guy texts me. this dude your ex?
Fuck. I text back. yep
IT Guy says nothing back and I want to throw my phone. I know I’m being dramatic but omg this is dramatic!!!
“Let’s go back out there,” I tell Lana.
She gives me this look. She kinda knows me better than I know me, and tells me later that she just felt like she knew what would happen next. I wish I did!!
So I walk back out, attempting to be chill.
I see Winebar where he was, the girl he was with looking so confused, and IT Guy has gone to the table with Nat and Daph and Aiden.
I walk up to Winebar and his eyes are super wide. “Look at this!” he says with more urgency than I’ve ever heard when he wasn’t about to like cum on my tits. This was serious.
I look at this phone though I’m not sure what he’s planning to show me.
Then I recognize his dad…the girl standing there…and a woman who looks like she’s obviously that girl’s mom. “Sorry Brenda,” he says to the girl. “This is Alexis. Alexis, this really is my sister. My dad has another woman…another life. It’s…”
I think my brain is about to explode.
“I wanted to tell you a long time ago but things have been, well, crazy,” he continues.
“Stop talking,” I say, almost in a whisper.
“I want to say you must realize you ghosted when I thought you were cheating this whole time but…yeah, that is a lot.” I think about my parents and like I can’t even imagine if I had to find out my dad had some surprise other family.
“I have no excuse. I just miss you, baby,” Winebar says.
I look at him. I don’t want to say anything out loud. My brain is deep frying all my thoughts. “I have to get back,” I say, finally.
The rest of the night at dinner I have fun, but my brain keeps repeating his words over and over again.
At the end of the night, IT Guy drops me off and barely looks at me, but I can’t blame him really.
Lana grabs a big bottle of Dom and Nat and Daph and I sit in the living room and talk about anything except what happened at dinner.
Aiden and Lana said goodbye at one point and I’m like Lana, let’s discuss. She giggles profusely and she’s like ok I gave him my panties again.
“What????” I ask her.
She keeps giggling. “I didn’t babe but like I need to distract you. You saw a ghost tonight.”
“God, he’s like perfect,” Natalie adds.
Daphne smacks Natalie.
I start laughing.
I wake up in full Alice Cooper eyes the next day with a pounding headache and text IT Guy: Sorry about last night.
I delete the second sentence because it’s too much, but I’d typed… “I don’t know what I want.”
Sure, maybe … IDK if Winebar’s thing changes anything. I kinda feel bad for him in general and think he probably needs someone to talk to. But yeah no one says that has to be me.
So I’ve never felt more single. I’m Alexis Angel the contemporary romance author looking for love…but now that I’ve found way too much of it, I think maybe I need to start drinking again lol!