Posted on 1 Comment

Aloha Angels – More Summer Lovin’!!!

Hey babes

So yeah uhm sorry for the garbage fire mess that was yesterday.

Gage and I did a conference call this morning and got the first episode of Summer Flame ready for release. It’s been added to Angel Access or can be purchased for $1.99.

Then I went through my pictures of my phone from last night and tweeted one. Check out this yummy dudes!! They were so talented, as were the lovely ladies too but yeah haha I was most interested in the sweaty, strapping, barely clothed men of course haha!! Check out my tweet here.

Last night was pretty magical. I went to a luau where you get private access to the aquarium and lol when I say you get Lei’d u know what I mean LOL but let’s just say I met a very yummy guy indeed. We’ll call him Jason Mmmmimosa and was very yummy.

I didn’t realize we were seated at the same table until after we got back to the bar and he pulled me onstage with him for the hula lessons. Yeah of course I had to give it a try!!

At the end of the night, they brought up three audience participants – two little girls about five and six – and for some reason they picked me LOL I really was an Aloha Angel.

It was a lot of fun. I learned a lot about Polynesian culture and ate some incredible food.

Afterward, Jason Mimosa asked me if I wanted to come have a drink with him. I told him that I needed to get a few things sorted with work and he was like, that’s not very Aloha of you! I laughed and said fine I’d get my stuff set up quickly and then we’d go for a drink.

It was a fun night of flirting and dancing after I got Rough Taste published (it is live now by the way) and I went back to my hotel solo. I want to go out and have fun but I didn’t want yummy Jason Mimosa to get too much of a taste.

He gave me his number and I’m thinking I’ll go out to lunch with him. Nothing serious. Just good food on a beautiful island.

So I won’t be ready with my jet lag to do a live writing session tomorrow babes but I am thinking my jet lag and such will be over by next Tuesday and I’ll be back in California. If you haven’t already voted on time, let me know.

Basically we’ll have a chat open in the dirty lil’ angels forum chatroom (so make sure you have joined) and then I’l have a google docs link that I post that everyone will be able to join in and watch my words as they happen. I’d like to do this every week. My mom had a fun idea – what if I write some and then you decide what you want to happen next week with a vote??

Aloha Angels – hope ur having a fab Monday!!!

Posted on Leave a comment

Garbage Can Hawaii Trip

Hey Angels!

So we all know that I have a horrible predilection to get into shall we say…unique situations. 

Ah fuck it. I’m just a hot mess sometimes. It’s like living in a garbage can filled with crack needles in July right before a thunderstorm. 

Anyways, so get ready to sit back, pour yourself a glass of wine, and read up on the garbage fire that is Alexis visits Hawaii. 

The real fun started when I got to my gate at SFO. Normally you don’t have to show ID to board a plane but I was like hmm maybe I can upgrade because I have like Alaska Airlines and like I’m wearing this cute top that goes with this skirt and already like three dudes were sort of hitting on me. I’m being serious. One guy in the line for the bag drop was like wow you have a lot of luggage where you headed when I was standing in line and its because it was just me with two checked bags and a carry on lol. I was like Hawaii and he was like oh it seems like you’d just need a few bikinis for that and I told him that’s all I was packing. But then like the agent at the counter called him and that’s the last I saw of him. 

And then at Starbucks the barista was like what can I get for you. lol angels I know you’re like wait how is that hitting on you but lemme just say I think he was licking his lip as he said that. Which is like gross I know because like what the fuck but still kinda flattering. 

And finally the other dude that hit on me was this dude that was sitting there reading his ipad. He was like Mr. Business Class Man – you know those guys at the airport. They’re all dressed in fancy suits with their perfect black carry on bag and mobile office on wheels. Anyways he smiled at me as I walked by and almost stepping on his foot was not the cause. 

Anyways so I’m like okay let me try and upgrade my seat to first class because I’m like totally dressed for first you know? So I go to the counter and I’m like is there any upgrades and the dude there is like oh my god absolutely and I’m like whoa dude calm down that’s cool but you’re way too excited but obviously I don’t say that because living with Lana has taught me tact lol. 

Anyways he’s like let me see your ID and I go to get it out and I realize I don’t have it in my wallet. Then I realize I took it out to go through security and then I don’t know where I put it. I ran back to security and asked them but they didn’t see it. They looked and called all over but nothing. 

Anyways, Angels, that’s when they started boarding my plane. I couldn’t just not get on the plane but they also announced that because the plane was crossing the Pacific Ocean there was no wifi. 

Oh well. I had no ID but I couldn’t miss this chance. 

So I boarded the plane! It’s been since Thursday that I needed to get everything squared away and I’m going to drop another blog post soon about what happened but this is a good place to stop for now lol. 

Because you wanna know what I realized in all this? Like I totally haven’t done an Alexis Angel style cliffhanger in fucking forever! So…yay!!!!

LOL Angels I love you all. 

Posted on 1 Comment

Never Forget.

Angels,

It’s September 11. Patriots Day.

You may or may not know it, but I have gotten in trouble for what I’ve said about this day and our freedom before.

And I’d say it all over again.

Sure I’m off to some island paradise today. I’m enjoying my life.

And I have the freedom to live because others died to defend it.

Those we lost in 9-11. Those who enlisted after. Those who were the heroes of our military before then. Those who will be after.

We will never forget them. I’m not running any new sales or releasing any new books today because I want all the Angels to join me in prayer and remembrance for those who lost their lives in 9-11.

Thank you for all my heroes do to keep this country safe and its promises of freedom still ring true.

God bless America.

Posted on 7 Comments

Why Lana and I are fighting! And #TeaserTuesday from Gage

It’s not anything too bad babes but I mentioned it in the email newsletter yesterday, that Lana and I have been fighting.

Well it isn’t anything too bad. It isn’t like we aren’t still best friends.

But Lana knows I almost bought Juul pods on Monday when I was really stressed (some stuff wasn’t working with the store and my parents were making me crazy lol) but I quit months ago, when I got sick.

I thought that if I had pneumonia then well maybe vaping wasn’t the best thing. makes sense, even to me haha

But I know that Juul won’t kill me like right? I just wanted to take like one puff, maybe two. I mean Sansa Stark vapes, why can’t I?

but Lana insists that the Juul made me sick before. The doctors aren’t sure it even was pneumonia and then all this stuff in the news.

So yeah I was fighting with Lana about this. I’m not particularly super proud of it but Lana’s got all this self discipline and I’m like over here jonesing to put a USB stick in my mouth and get all jittery.

Ugh. Angels. Please tell me you don’t vape. This is like a leftover thing from my Wall Street days – I mean, back then I smoked and well lol we drank a lot too because that’s how we dealt with all the stress.

It’s one of those days where it is like Tuesday so I shouldn’t just declare it happy hour after I write my chapters for the day.

Today I am going to start working on plotting and building out my world for paranormal stuff. Today IS Tuesday but I am going to take all the votes in and figure out what time to do the Google Docs writing session live for my first chapter in my story.

I did something a little crazy. I bought myself a ticket to Hawaii for the next week. LOL! I know. I just want to get away for a bit and write with like ukulele in the background. Lana wants some Kona coffee. Also she made me promise not to Juul while I was gone so I will be good. I’m going to go apologize to her now because as I write this I realize I’ve been an asshole.

But my spontaneous Hawaii trip is just some me time. I think I just need some space to think about my new series and about a few big things coming to the store.

I’m going to get packed and make sure Lana and Paige have everything they need for the store, though I will still be working of course babes!!!

I am going to get back into the twitter and IG for the store and post pictures of my “office of the day” while I’m there. If I remember LOL so please don’t let me forget!!! I think I should post here on the blog, right? And I’ll work on the world for my paranormal story. Follow along!!!

Hope you’re having a good Tuesday.

Before I go, I have a first chapter from Gage Grayson’s next story, the first episode of Summer Flame. Hope you enjoy it for #TeaserTuesday!

Chapter 1

Erik

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try or how much money you have, things simply don’t go the way you want them to.

Even though I can’t say I especially like the bride and groom, and I hardly know my date at all, by whatever circumstances fate has dealt me I’ve found myself at a glitzy, expensive wedding reception in the Hamptons at the height of summer.

I suppose that’s hardly something to complain about.

And, my God, my date is unbelievably gorgeous, so I definitely wouldn’t complain about that either.

But when I first arrived in the Hamptons to survey potential land and real estate for a business deal, I had no idea that, two weeks later, I’d still fucking be here. I thought I’d have sorted the property in two or three days tops before heading to my main business headquarters in New York. I had planned for a quick jaunt back to the Hamptons just for the wedding, and that would be it.

It seems, however, that even the best-laid (and most expensive) plans can go awry.

Yet, as I mentioned, at least my date is beautiful and an absolute firecracker to boot. Rosa Maria Clark, my real estate agent.

When I had entered Hamptons Properties and asked for their best agent, I certainly didn’t expected their best agent to simultaneously be one of the most perfect looking women I have ever had the privilege of laying my eyes upon.

Rosa’s usually wildly-curled black hair, which, until now, I had only ever seen kept back cleanly from her face in an up-do, has been meticulously and sleekly straightened and thrown over one shoulder. With her olive eyes, tanned skin, and in an incredibly sexy-yet-classy sheer black dress, she looks like a goddess.

Who said you shouldn’t wear black to weddings? After seeing Rosa, I’d say it should most definitely be allowed.

Of course, she catches me looking at her. I’m not exactly subtle with my I-want-to-fuck-you-by-the-champagne-towerexpression plastered across my face.

But Rosa can’t simply be a quickie at a wedding. She’s brokering my multi-million-dollar property deals, after all. I just wish for the love of God that she would broker them faster.

“You know, if you keep looking at me like that, I’m fairly certain my dress will fall off of its own accord,” Rosa muses into my ear, smiling suggestively, as she brings a flute of champagne up to her lips.

I raise an eyebrow. “Now, wouldn’t that be a spectacle? I’m sure the bride would complain about being thoroughly upstaged at her own wedding.”

“Speaking of, I haven’t spotted her anywhere. You’d think the bride and groom would show up to their own wedding reception.”

“Or they could have done what I’d do, and head straight to their beach house for some rampant—”

“If that’s what you want to do, then I’m all for it,” Rosa interrupts, all sultry smiles and long dark lashes.

God, what wouldn’t I give to fuck her?

I cough slightly whilst I struggle to pull my head from the proverbial gutter. A twinging, aching feeling in my pants suggests that my cock disagrees with such a change of thought.

I give Rosa an exaggerated sigh, to which she lets out a soft laugh.

“Unfortunately, I have to show my face until at least the toasts and speeches are done. The groom would kill me if I ran off before that, even if it were to indulge in a woman such as yourself.”

“Oh, so you want to indulge in me, Erik Storm? Sounds like an idea I can get behind…”

I don’t miss the blatant innuendo; I quickly down a glass of champagne in response.

We’re interrupted by the appearance of a man I only know a Richard. His bank is an absolute powerhouse that I could really do with having on my side.

However, our short conversation only leads to Richard turning down my offer flat. What on earth could I have unknowingly done that is preventing me from buying property in the Hamptons?

“How are the property brokers doing, anyway?” I ask Rosa as I throw a side glance at her after Richard leaves.

I notice the subtle change in her expression immediately.

“You had mentioned that at least the paperwork for that beach front property I wanted for my own use should be ready by tomorrow.”

Rosa smothers a grimace. “I know I said that, but we’re having some difficulty getting in contact with the property owner. Seems he’s gone off skiing to escape the summer heat.”

“If he hates the heat so much, why own property at the Hamptons?”

Rosa waves a hand dismissively. “As if I understand what you billionaires are thinking when you throw your money about.”

I don’t bother correcting Rosa’s very valid but not entirely true preconception about billionaires.

Well, it’s certainly true for many of us. Just not necessarily for me—most of the time, at least.

“So how much longer do you think it’s likely to take, Miss Clark?”

Rosa frowns slightly at me. “Look, Erik, I’m gonna be blunt. Had I known you were asking me out on a date to continue grilling me about my day job, I would have refused. I just wanted to have a good time with some good company.”

Ah, I can be an utter jackass sometimes.

Of course, Rosa wouldn’t want to be asked out on a date just to discuss work. Nobodywould want that. I just can’t help but shake the feeling that Rosa isn’t being as forthcoming as she could be with the property deals.

For a moment, I entertain the idea that she’s deliberately stretching out the deal to see if I’ll fuck her. It’s an irresistible idea.

But no—Rosa herself said that she makes a living by working with stupidly rich billionaires. She wouldn’t risk her credibility for one of them.

I give her an apologetic smile.

“You’re right, of course. I was being an ass. Would you like some more champagne?” I ask, motioning to the tower of glasses where I definitely want to screw Rosa by.

She links an arm with mine and nods her head, her beautiful features growing serene as the topic of work is erased from conversation.

Just as we pick up fresh glasses of champagne, a familiar figure appears close by.

A wave of dislike washes over me as I realize that it’s Oberon Lawson, another groomsmen for the wedding. He owns what feels like, at least, half of the Hamptons, which makes him my unfortunate rival.

I wish it were anyone buthim. I don’t trust Oberon; not in the slightest. He always seems to have an ulterior motive for doing anything, no matter how inconsequential that thing may be.

Rosa watches attentively as Oberon makes his way past us, and I wonder for a moment if the man has ever bought property from her. It’s not as if it’s something I had thought to ask before, but then again, the likelihood is pretty high.

Resolving to ask her about it in the morning, I slide an arm around her waist to pull her in closer as Oberon’s eyes scan over us, lingering hungrily on Rosa.

“Don’t let him near you,” I murmur under my breath.

Rosa barely suppresses a laugh.

“I can handle myself, you know. Though I do enjoy the whole alpha male thing you have going on right now,” she replies, glancing down at my arm, smirking.

Oberon walks past us without saying hello, which I am supremely grateful for.

I nearly drop my glass when another groomsman comes bundling along, tripping drunkenly over his own feet, and narrowly avoid stepping on my expensive leather shoes.

He looks up at me with bleary eyes that are slow to recognize who I am.

“It’s the other billionaire,” the man slurs.

“John,” I say, suddenly remembering the man’s unremarkable name, “you seem like you’ve had a bit much to drink. Having a good time?”

“You fucking bet I am! Have you seenthe celebs and bigwigs around here? And the models! It’s a total A-list party.”

John notices Rosa, and his eyes are just about to pop out of his skull as they take her in. She smiles for him, which he sleazily returns.

“I see you wasted no time finding a babe,” he says. “I’m still searching for the perfect bang myself, only…”

“Only what?”

John leans in to my face; Rosa suppresses a laugh as I struggle not to recoil from the man’s unpleasantly alcoholic breath.

“All the booze has gone to my dick. I don’t suppose you have any—you know?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, John,” I reply, though I know perfectly well what he’s implying. As if I need a fucking Viagrato perform even when I’m wasted.

John laughs as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.

“Viagra, Erik, Viagra! Do you have any? I wanna be raring to go all fucking night.”

“You’ll have to find someone else for that,” I reply, shaking my head. I glance at Rosa, smirking slightly. “I don’t think a single inch of my cock has ever needed a drug to keep it up all night before.”

“Not even a single inch?” Rosa cuts in, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

“Nope. All twelve inches are ready and raring to go at any moment, no drugs required.”

John looks at me enviously just as Rosa bites her lower lip and gulps slightly.

I couldn’t ask for two more perfect reactions.

John stumbles away to find another source for his precious Viagra as Rosa locks eyes with me.

“I sincerely hope the speeches happen soon so we can get the hell out of here.”

I’ve never agreed more with anything in my fucking life.

Posted on 24 Comments

Alexis Angel does…Paranormal??

OK yesterday’s blog post was so fun.

You all voted for Aiden and Lana’s next ideas and we’re tallying it up to see who goes first…I mean obviously you did enjoy all of them so LOL they are totally going to write them all!

I hope that’s part of what makes us different, Angels. You tell us you want to read something and we write it. You matter so much here — we want to write for you. We want to write what you want to read and hey I want to do it in a way that makes sure you get the most value for your money.

That’s why we offer an ebook subscription service and why we’ve been putting the serials in there. Standalones go into Angel Access, too, but having them in the subscription service means there’s still a fun way to release stories but you don’t have to pay per episode if you don’t want to.

We are also doing giveaways…and we have three winners from yesterday!

Contemporary Romance Store Gift Card Giveaway Winners

Winners, please each check your email tonight for a $2.99 Naughty Angel Publishing gift card.

Winner #1 – Schellie Duce <3

Winner #2 – Cynthia Koman <3

Winner #3 – Adrienne Soloman <3

Those gift cards should be hitting your email accounts this evening. They’ll have a redeemable code that you can enter at checkout.

Thanks to everyone who commented! I super love giveaways. I think we should do another one!!!

This next one though is going to be a whole lot different.

Why? Because I can :)))

Alexis Angel does…Paranormal Romance? You can help…and win!

So I want to write paranormal romance. I have been thinking it would be so fun and I see that so many readers would really enjoy it. I’m thinking how I need to do this in my way, but like haha it has to be something the Angels would want to read.

I haven’t hopped back into #TeaserTuesday in an embarrassingly long time.

But I want to in a whole new way.

Google Docs has this collaborative feature where you can like watch my write and even make comments and stuff.

So who would like to watch Alexis Angel write a paranormal romance?

I have to work out what I think for the plot first. I have an idea, like a series concept that I really like, but I want to see what readers think.

I’m going to put together a little short story that’s kinda the origin stories and then I’ll need everyone’s feedback.

Then, I want to write the book liiiiive! Haha ok so not the whole thing. It would be a little crazy and I’m uhm not sooper into a schedule type thing. I do often write when I feel most inspired and that isn’t always the same time every day.

But for today’s giveaway, I need votes – in the form of comments!!

What time on Tuesdays – and I am in PDT because California – would you be able to join a Google Doc to watch my write? I’d also want you to join a chat in Dirty Lil’ Angels (our private reader forum) because lol the last time the Angels tried a Google Docs chat it was a mess!!

I think I’d like to do about an hour. I’d try to write my chapter, it would take 30-45 minutes. Then I’d want to chat for at least 15 minutes, and anyone who is still around to chat I’m there for.

I guess this is kind of strange but hey it is Alexis Angel style to do what I want.

I want to explore paranormal romance! It seems really fun and my mom has been reading a lot. I know Lana’s mom even met Christine Feehan. So Lana used to idolize MaryJanice Davidson. Anyhow more than enjoying the genre I also want to explore fated mates.

I mean hey.

Me?

Romance writer.

Why not explore what it means to have a soul mate.

I’m always looking for love, Angels. I’m going to keep doing some of that on the pages.

And I want you to come with me!

So please vote for Tuesday times!! If you even like this idea.

Posted on 49 Comments

Happy Saturday Angels

Hey Angels!

I hope you’re having a fabulous Saturday. Lana, Aiden, and I are drinking insane amounts of coffee and talking about a series they are writing together – after they worked on Summer Temptation together, they wanted to do more together. They have several ideas and all of them are great I think but I thought maybe the Angels would want to cast their vote.

I wasn’t in the mood to go out knowing that some Angels are still dealing with Dorian. The hurricane has been devastating for so many and I just want everyone to be ok. Thanks again to everyone who helped us donate to help those affected.

So, the story ideas that Aiden and Lana want to do.

There’s a bunch but I think these three are the ones the Angels should vote on.

They were all a little different than maybe what you expect from these two but I thought they could be good!

Aiden/Lana 1 – a rom com called Don’t Buy Me! about a girl who puts herself up for a virgin auction but she’s downright sassy about it. Her best friend buys her. It’s a cute friends to lovers story that kinda has fun with the virgin market idea of a guy buying you. Except they make a bet that she couldn’t handle being really bought an auction, so lots of sexiness ensues.

Aiden/Lana 2 – a fun and sexy romance about a girl who just started college and her mother is getting remarried around Halloween, her mom is into that sorta thing. And the girl meets this incredibly hot dude at a pre-Halloween party. They have a fling. She’s like thank God something good came of the next two weeks because I’ll be stuck here and I have a new stepbrother to deal with. Her mom wants them to get to know each other. Turns out Mr. Fling is mister stepbrother and wooooo to the hooo, twisty heat and goodness!

Aiden/Lana 3 – A baby romance! A billionaire needs a surrogate and a struggling romance writer decides to become a surrogate. Because he wants her to be on a strict regimen – no coffee and eating well and such – he spends a lot of time with her. Turns out he wants more than an heir. He wants herrrr!

So lol what do you think Angels?

Also… a few people are telling me that they’re not getting the newsletter. Please use the button at the top of the site, Get Daily Book Bargains, to re-sign up if you need to.

Oh, and one more thing. I want to do another giveaway. Comment on the blog with your favorite kinds of romances and you’re entered to win a $2.99 gift card! I’ll post three winners in tomorrow’s blog post 🙂

Posted on 3 Comments

Thank you all!! Keep Praying, Angels!

Hurricane Dorian is still affecting lives. I know a lot of Angels are facing hard times. Let’s all pray for our fellow Angels.

Thank you all for your emails and comments for who to donate the book proceeds to – for anyone who requested Red Cross we will send your purchase proceeds to the Red Cross… but overwhelmingly the International Medical Corps got almost everyone’s votes, mostly because they seem to donate more proceeds to actual care and assistance. Still, those who asked for it to go the Red Cross, I do still want to send that way.

I want to do everything we can to help those in needs, so thank you all for all your purchases to go towards the donations.

I know a lot of you want to know if I am going to talk to WineBar. If I’m still going to get some with IT Guy. I know, lots going on. I promise we’ll get back to what’s going on with my crazy ass soon, but right now I’m just concerned about some Angels who told me that they were in an evacuation zone but they didn’t evacuate 🙁

I don’t want to violate anyone’s privacy or anything BUT I do want to say that you’re in my prayers, Angel, and while Lana says likely you don’t have power is all, and I know emailing me back is of course not your number one priority (nor should it be) but I just wish I could do like role call or something and know that you’re all ok babes.

Can’t Live Without You 4 is newly released and in Angel Access. There will be 8 episodes and they’re coming soon 🙂 Hope you’re enjoying it and more is coming. Also some deals and more giveaways.

But I just want to ask you all to keep praying with me for those affected by Hurricane Dorian. Thanks babes.

Posted on 2 Comments

Angels Take Care of Their Own

Prayers to all those affected by Hurricane Dorian

Hey Angels.
I never want my drama or anything to overshine our Angels, and many Angels are in the path of Hurricane Dorian. I’ve been emailing many of you to check in and see if you are ok, but I also want to put out a general call for prayers for everyone affected by the hurricane.
There’s something else. We could never do this on Amazon, but we can now and all the authors have agreed.
Lana and Aiden are releasing Summer Temptation – all four episodes in one – today and all proceeds for today’s sales on this book will go to Hurricane Dorian support.
Angels, let us know – should we donate the proceeds to the Red Cross or to the International Medical Corps?
Our hearts and prayers go out to the Angels in need. Please take care of yourselves and your families and do your best to stay out of harm’s way as this devastating storm continues to affect so many lives.
We’ll get back to other things soon Angels but for now I ask you to join us in prayer and help us decide where to send the aid.
Thanks,
Alexis and all the Angel authors

Posted on 13 Comments

honesty

Ok Angels I think we can all agree.

Honesty is totally the best policy.

Of course, right?

I mean, you want people to be upfront with you. You want to be upfront with other people.

This was my little pep talk to myself when I met IT for coffee this morning. I was like, be honest about your mess.

Here’s how it went.

IT Guy: So yeah I avoided you last night…

Alexis: Yep. I was also weird at dinner.

IT Guy: I told you I loved you.

Alexis: I told you I loved you.

IT Guy: I still do.

Alexis: I love you too, but right now I think I need to love me more. I’m really confused. With my ex showing up…yeah. But also saying I love you but not really being committed.

IT Guy: Yeah. I don’t think you’re ready for commitment.

Alexis: You keep saying that, but what do you want?

IT Guy: That’s not the point.

Alexis: Don’t avoid the subject. If I was ready to commit would you want to be? I’m not but I don’t know where you stand?!!

IT Guy: We have a lot of fun, Alexis, but I don’t think we should go further than that right now.

Alexis: I agree.

IT Guy: Ok.

Alexis: Are you seeing other people?

IT Guy: Do you want to?

I took a huge gulp of my coffee. Right now the only person I wanted to see was Lana LOL

Alexis: I don’t know how I feel about the amount of crazy I seem to be generating. I need like a mental refresh from all this.

IT Guy: I can help you relax…

We went back to his place. He slowly undressed me. I tried to think of nothing but the moment, and his tongue was a lot of help with that. His tongue on my tongue, his tongue all over me. Yeah, it was good.

Afterward I told him I had some cover designs to review and that I needed to send out my newsletter. He nodded and headed to his own laptop.

“I don’t think we should be exclusive,” he said after he sat down. “I had a lot of strong feelings for you, and I still do. So did my parents…and they’re both happily married to other people now.”

“Ok.”

“I think you’re a great girl,” IT Guy started.

“I’m not a girl anymore. I’m in my thirties, no shame,” I interrupted. “And yeah I think the I love you was loaded for me. That usually comes close to the happily ever after.” I giggle like a teensy giggle.

“Yeah. And you’re intelligent, fiery, fun, focused, but I don’t know that you and I could start a family together. So I think maybe I thought about a lot of things you were thinking about too.” IT Guy walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.

I looked up at him. “This is definitely one of the classier break ups I think I have been a part of,” I say.

“We don’t need to break up, but I think we need to slow down.” IT Guys wraps his fingers around my upper arms gently but firmly.

I pull away.

“I don’t think I’m ready to move backwards in our lane,” I tell him. “And I need to move forward with me.”

“Oh,” IT Guy says.

“I’m not saying I never want to see you again. I’m not burning anything you left at my place,” I said with a big grin.

He laughs. “Same, I’m not doing that.”

“I love you…but I’m not in love with you. This has been a very special part of my life,” I tell him.

Grab my purse, walk out the door, come tell Lana everything? Yes, yes I did.

She didn’t say anything at first. We grabbed more coffee and got back to work. We’re about to head out for Taco Tuesday after I get the newsletter out.

Uhm… so am I crazy? I thought I love you was going to feel differently?

Am I so crazy for wanting my own Happily Ever After?

Posted on 14 Comments

WTF, single??!!

Ok babes first up, I wanna say I never intended the single joke to sound like something sooper epic had bombed in my life…other than what was already happening in my last blog post.

And uhmm I can barely catch my breath for the rest of the story.

Like ok I meant single like oooh like my box set and because I’m not married. Also because just after the talk vs. no talk fiasco I realized we aren’t really like ultra committed. We love each other. We love spending time with each other. But the universe…and the fact that SF isn’t really that big of a city I suppose…seems intent on reminding me of someone else…

So yeah I’m in the bathroom and Lana’s like, “Sister????”

“uhm yeah I mean I went to that cookout and met his family, no sister I met.”

“The nerve,” Lana says but there’s something in her voice. I can tell she thinks something else is going on but not so much the Winebar is lying again thing. And yeah I wanna believe that too but how could I be so sure?

It’s giving me this need to drink like the sugariest booze I can and not feel the rest of the night! I take a deep breath instead.

IT Guy texts me. this dude your ex?

Fuck. I text back. yep

IT Guy says nothing back and I want to throw my phone. I know I’m being dramatic but omg this is dramatic!!!

“Let’s go back out there,” I tell Lana.

She gives me this look. She kinda knows me better than I know me, and tells me later that she just felt like she knew what would happen next. I wish I did!!

So I walk back out, attempting to be chill.

I see Winebar where he was, the girl he was with looking so confused, and IT Guy has gone to the table with Nat and Daph and Aiden.

I walk up to Winebar and his eyes are super wide. “Look at this!” he says with more urgency than I’ve ever heard when he wasn’t about to like cum on my tits. This was serious.

I look at this phone though I’m not sure what he’s planning to show me.

Then I recognize his dad…the girl standing there…and a woman who looks like she’s obviously that girl’s mom. “Sorry Brenda,” he says to the girl. “This is Alexis. Alexis, this really is my sister. My dad has another woman…another life. It’s…”

I think my brain is about to explode.

“I wanted to tell you a long time ago but things have been, well, crazy,” he continues.

“Stop talking,” I say, almost in a whisper.

“Alexis?”

“I want to say you must realize you ghosted when I thought you were cheating this whole time but…yeah, that is a lot.” I think about my parents and like I can’t even imagine if I had to find out my dad had some surprise other family.

“I have no excuse. I just miss you, baby,” Winebar says.

I look at him. I don’t want to say anything out loud. My brain is deep frying all my thoughts. “I have to get back,” I say, finally.

The rest of the night at dinner I have fun, but my brain keeps repeating his words over and over again.

At the end of the night, IT Guy drops me off and barely looks at me, but I can’t blame him really.

Lana grabs a big bottle of Dom and Nat and Daph and I sit in the living room and talk about anything except what happened at dinner.

Aiden and Lana said goodbye at one point and I’m like Lana, let’s discuss. She giggles profusely and she’s like ok I gave him my panties again.

“What????” I ask her.

She keeps giggling. “I didn’t babe but like I need to distract you. You saw a ghost tonight.”

“God, he’s like perfect,” Natalie adds.

Daphne smacks Natalie.

I start laughing.

I wake up in full Alice Cooper eyes the next day with a pounding headache and text IT Guy: Sorry about last night.

I delete the second sentence because it’s too much, but I’d typed… “I don’t know what I want.”

Sure, maybe … IDK if Winebar’s thing changes anything. I kinda feel bad for him in general and think he probably needs someone to talk to. But yeah no one says that has to be me.

So I’ve never felt more single. I’m Alexis Angel the contemporary romance author looking for love…but now that I’ve found way too much of it, I think maybe I need to start drinking again lol!